Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Another move?

After the awful business with the nasty neighbours yesterday, Mr Ayak brought up a previously discussed subject again.
Some time ago my father-in-law said he would give us a house he has bought and has been having renovated in a village between Bodrum and Milas. When I say GIVE...I use the word loosely because the deeds will still be in his name, but we will be allowed to live in the house. This is pretty much par for the course in Turkish families as far as property is concerned. I mentioned before that Mr Ayak Snr had given houses to his other son and daughter, but here again the deeds remain in his name. The only time that changes is when Mr Ayak Snr dies.

You may wonder why we didn't jump at the chance before now? There are several reasons why not. Firstly the relationship with Mr Ayak and his father has always been a difficult one and I was concerned that if we lived in this house and the two of them fell out, we would end up on the streets. Secondly, the Turkish patriarch likes to control the rest of the family. If we live in his house we have taken a step towards his control and away from our independence.

Another factor to consider is that members of his family are then likely to turn up whenever they want to and stay for as long as they like. This is one of the most irritating things about Turkish families. They give you no warning..they turn up...and they stay...for ages. It's not the done thing to ask them how long they are staying. It's considered very rude to do so. As far as they are concerned, members of the family are welcome in any of their your home is my home and vice versa. A good example would be when we invited an aunt and uncle of Mr Ayak's to lunch one day and they stayed for 24 hours.

So that's the downside...but of course the advantage is that we will have no rent to pay. The house, although small, has a lot of land and is in a quiet village location. It would be absolutely wonderful for Beki as well. Of course if Mr Ayak's travelling selling business takes off, it won't really matter where we live. We have always previously had to live near to where he has worked.

I haven't seen the house or the location yet, but here are some pics that my brother in law sent me today:
Having looked at the pics I am very tempted. I guess we could give it a try...we have nothing to lose?

A bit of a dilemma........ Plenty to think about while I'm away in the UK for the next six weeks.


  1. How easy would it to be to back out?

  2. I dunno, Ayak - it would drive me mad to have people turn up and not know when they were going to leave. But then again a rent free house with space for Beki does sound wonderful. I reckon whatever you decided at some point or other you will wish you had gone with the other decision - good luck in choosing;I wouldnt know what to pick either.

  3. Yeah, live free or... what was it?

  4.'s going to be a difficult decision. Although a friend suggested today that perhaps we should just decide to do it for a year and save as much money as possible so we can buy something similar ourselves.

    I have so much on my mind at the's not the right time yet to make a decision.

  5. That's good advice re savings plan, and you might actually find it works out well.

    Provided that you have the contingency fund in place so that you can leave when you want to, it might make sense.


  6. Yes GG I think so too. I'm a strong believer in fate so I am just going to head off to England on Saturday and just let it all happen. Mr Ayak may even move there while I'm away and I can just return to the new home. It would be great not to have to do the packing!


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