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Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Neighbours

Sometimes I may have to use this blog to have a scream....aaaaargh!
Forgive me for that but I am so upset and angry.

It's normal if you break something or something doesn't work...to fix it. The responsibility lies with the person who does the damage. For example a couple of months ago Mr Ayak drove over the bottom marble step outside our block and broke it (I told you he was clumsy!)..but within two hours he had found someone to replace the marble...good as new!

Over a week ago someone broke the catch on the main door to the block. It wasn't Mr Ayak because he wasn't here. And I know it wasn't me. So it had to be someone in one of the three other occupied apartments. Well..it's not been fixed. The door won't close and it's important for security that it does...particularly at night.

Mr Ayak asked the neighbour downstairs this morning who had broken it and were they going to fix it? She replied: "I don't know...maybe it was you"... He was quite angry about this and said that someone needed to take responsibility for it.

He went off out and half an hour later the Zabita arrived. The Zabita are a sort of environmental police/ health officers...I can't think of any other way to describe them. Anyway three officers turned up....and the neighbour downstairs appeared and it would seem that she had phoned them to complain about my dog!! We've been here since last August....so why now?

They were all talking so fast I couldn't understand what they were saying...and I was trying to get hold of Mr Ayak on his mobile phone at the same time, but it was busy. When I finally managed to get hold of him they had left, so he set off to see them.

When he returned he told me that the complaint was about our dog being noisy. Which is crap frankly. I'm here most of the time and she doesn't make a noise. In fact the neighbour who complained usually has their TV so loud I can hear it above mine...but I've never said a word. Mr Ayak spoke to the other neighbour downstairs and she said she doesn't have a problem with the dog but she has a problem with me because apparently when she came up to see me about something recently, she claims I slammed the door in her face! I'm really shocked at this..because it clearly is not true. ..it's a blatent lie.

Why do people do this? There is one reason which I don't really like to consider, but past experience has proved otherwise, and that is quite simply xenophobia. I'm English and they think I am odd because I don't want to spend all my spare time in their homes drinking tea and gossiping, and because I don't constantly invite them into my home to do the same. It's a cultural thing...it's what Turkish women do...and it's what most English women tend not to do.

I'm not unsociable. I speak to the neighbours whenever I see them. I take them cakes when I bake. I pass the time of day or talk about the weather. But somehow it's not enough for them. It's not really a criticism, because they generally are lovely people, but sometimes they want to be more involved in each others' lives and want more of me than I'm prepared to give. They don't like it, so they seem to feel the need to cause trouble.

Of course I could be wrong...maybe I've misjudged them...but I don't think so. But as I said it's left me feeling angry and upset. Actually upset more than angry. That dreadful feeling you get when you think everyone is blaming you when you know you've done nothing wrong? And my current state of mind has to be taken into consideration of course. So I've taken a deep breath...counted to 10...and taken a step back from it.....well I'm trying to!

The Zabita told Mr Ayak they think the neighbours are very silly, but they have to log the complaint. If you get more than one complaint it goes to court apparently.

So Beki is off to Antalya tonight with Mr Ayak, who will then be away working....and I set off for England on Saturday.

The way I feel at this moment..... I won't be in too much of a hurry to return.

8 comments:

  1. What a bunch of... If it is any help we had a spiteful neighbour in Britain once. Didn't call the police on us but we know many who did.

    That is bullying, frankly. As for dealing with lies, boy do I know about that. :-(

    Sorry you are going through this my friend, it really is the last thing you need!

    TAF

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  2. Poor you Ayak that is just so petty of them.
    We had problems with the neighbours in January because they blame us for their planning proposal being refused. We have had solicitors letters about where we park our car - how childish. Hold your head high and walk on by. And have a fab trip.

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  3. TAF and Jazzy: Thank you so much both of you for your words of comfort and support. It's very much appreciated xx

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  4. Oh blimey, this is where cultural differences raise their head and bop you in the face. I'm glad the Zabita were agreeable, despite having to log the complaint. I can see why England is suddenly looking very tempting - apart from the added lure of a new grandchild.

    Keep us posted.

    x

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  5. Sometimes these things happen for a reason FF..well it's got me and Mr Ayak thinking about the future.

    Wlll keep you posted

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  6. Enjoy your time in the UK and the new baby and then come home safe and refreshed.

    It will do you so much good to have a change of scene,

    GG

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  7. I`ll start by introducing myself. Norwegian living in Antalya area for the last ten yrs. married to a man just like ur mr.Ayak it seems. Bookmarked ur blog years ago but never read blogs really. Needed a break from the news these days and started reading ur blog. And I really enjoy it. As for ur neighbours behaviour, I experienced kind of the same thing, more than once. I tend to keep to myself a lot, and that is not popular amongst teadrinking turkish housewives ;-) I started at the beginning og ur blog so I have a lot of good reading ahead of me. Thank u . Lise

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    Replies
    1. Hi Lise. Welcome to my blog. You have certainly got a long read ahead of you!! I don't blog quite so much these days. xxx

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