Friday, 15 May 2009

Paranoia? Keep taking the pills!

I talked a little while ago about Depression and the way I manage to recognise symptoms. I also mentioned the fact that about a month before I came to England for my six week visit, I put myself back on medication. It was indeed a sensible decision because by the time I arrived here, my mental state was so much better. I was in control and happy...and therefore those around me seemed to be happier.

One of my symptoms is paranoia. I hate it because I know its irrational but when it strikes it's difficult to control.

I did rather a silly thing. The week before last I felt so good that I decided to come off the medication. Of course this is the worst thing to do. I should really know better by now. I felt good simply because the pills were working. But I also should know from past experience that I need to be on medication considerably longer than just a matter of weeks for it to have any real effect.

I won't go into details about my paranoid episode this week, only to say that it was completely ridiculous and unfounded and quickly sorted out. However it did make me realise that I need to go back on meds for a while and I have started again today.

As there is just over a week to go before I return to my new home which I haven't yet a new area.... I'm feeling quite anxious... so I think it would be wise to keep taking the pills for some time yet!


  1. I'm not surprised you are feeling anxious, plus there has been all the exuberance and euphoria with your grandson's arrival, now is the aftermath of tired people and upset hormones (perhaps a crying baby keeping people awake).

    Yes, keep taking the tablets - and just think Mr A and Bekey (hope that I've spelt it right)are yearning to see you.


  2. I admire you ability to spot your own warning signals and plan ahead like you have.

    Once home, you will feel differently I'm sure :-)

  3. Ayak, you are doing the right thing, and so glad that you spotted the need, better to be this way, and feel happier, than to go through life being miserable and doubting everything.
    It, as FF said, has been such an emotional journey for you these 5 weeks, you also have the added burden of a new home, though I believe you will be truly joyful there, you have a lot on your plate at the moment.
    Dearest one, please keep taking the tablets.

  4. Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I'm already feeling much more calm!

  5. You're right to keep on the medication just in case,although your new home hopefully will be ready and waiting to welcome you.


  6. I agree with everyone else, you definitely did the right thing going back on the meds. I bet Mr Ayak is so looking forward to having you home again and I can't wait to hear all about your new home.

  7. Ayak, I hope you'll keep calm. Paranoia is something most curators suffer from on daily basis! They say it goes with the job! I can't help it but I often put my worries on the scale of 1 - 10. It seems to make it a lot less scary if you can do that.

  8. Thanks also GG, Jazzy and ASD.

    ASD...good tip about the scale of 1-10...I might try that.

  9. Good luck with managing the condition. Being in control, as you say, is a great situation.

  10. Thanks David. Yes you're right ...control is the key. And welcome to my blog!

  11. I am here from David's POTD and congratulations.

  12. Moannie: I don't know what POTD is?? But as you are congratulating me...I'll say thank you...I think!

  13. I came over from authorblog. Congrats on the Post of the Day Award. Blessings to you.

  14. Thank you Cheffie-Mom xxxx


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