.....weeks that is. Six weeks is a long time. I wasn't really sure I could cope with being here for so long. Although I really love catching up with my family, after a few days I am desperate to be home again.
I used to stay with my Aunty Gwen on my visits, but sadly she died just before Christmas..a week before I was due to arrive. I felt very comfortable staying with her. She was more like a mother to me than my mother ever was, and her home was my home. I miss her dreadfully.
Now I stay with my youngest brother and his family. They are lovely and are very welcoming but it's a hectic household and I feel like I'm a nuisance. I'm reassured by them that I'm not but it makes little difference to how I feel.
I have tried staying with my daughter in the past but we bring the worst out in each other when we are under the same roof (I'm sure this is a common mother/daughter thing) so we decided that it would be better for us to stick to spending quality time together whilst I stayed elsewhere. And it works perfectly.
I always like to be in control and being away from home for so long leaves me feeling anxious because I have no control over what's happening there. Mr Ayak is continuing with his latest adventure. He hasn't actually made any money yet...apart from enough to keep the car filled with petrol and his stomach filled with food. So I don't know if this is going to be successful as a long term project, but for the moment if nothing else, it's keeping Mr Ayak occupied.
Our next rent payment is due on the 20th and Mr Ayak wants to avoid this by moving all our belongings to the new house before then. Part of me thinks this is an excellent idea because for once I won't have to do all the packing and unpacking as I won't be back until the 25th. However the other part of me (the control-freak part) is panicking because I won't be there to make sure the move goes smoothly.
I could try to get an earlier flight back but I am so enjoying spending time with my new grandson that I am for once not so keen to leave. It's quite a dilemma.
So I want to learn how to stop trying to be in control of everything. I want to rid myself of the extreme anxiety I feel when I'm not in control. Any ideas how I can achieve this?