Sunday, 31 January 2010

Difficult decisions

Mr Ayak returned home yesterday to help me sort out some of my problems, the most pressing one being the injury to my back.

We decided to speak on the phone to his sister in Ankara before rushing off to the hospital.  She is an orthopaedic surgeon and was recently promoted to clinical director at her hospital.  I trust her advice and judgment, and would have phoned her myself when I first had my accident if my Turkish wasn't crap.  So a lengthy conversation ensued, with my relaying all the details and Mr Ayak doing the translation.  She doesn't feel that the coccyx is damaged or I would most certainly have tingling or numbness in my legs.  She explained that the fact that I fell so hard on my bottom causing the awful pain which shot up my spine, would be because the shock causes the vertebrae to close together, and that the pain I am experiencing will be the vertebrae gradually retracting.  However, she does insist that if in a week's time I don't feel any improvement then I must see an orthopaedic surgeon for more checks.  I only wish Ankara wasn't so far away because I'd rather see Mr Ayak's sister than anyone else.   Anyway she has recommended painkillers, no lifting, and moving about as much as possible.  So I'm trying to be positive and hope that the pain will soon go.

I've had to make a very difficult decision today.  Fortunately, Mr Ayak has made the decision easier for me and I know he's right.  I am having to let Monty and Milly go.  They are getting so big and strong and I can't manage them.  They are confined to the fenced-in area and their house and they are bored and constantly fighting with each other.  I've been trying to deny the fact that they are a problem, but Mr Ayak noticed it straight away.  He says they need more freedom and exercise, it's not enough to just keep them confined and feed them.  It's not fair on them.  He has a friend who keeps a number of gun dogs and he talked to him yesterday.  M & M would be highly suitable.  This man cares for his dogs, he feeds them well and they have a lot of space to run  around and exercise.

Because I've only had them for a couple of months, and they have lived outside, I haven't had time to domesticate or even train them, so better they go sooner rather than later.  Of course I feel guilty and upset about it.  I have rescued and re-homed a number of dogs since I came to live in Turkey so I just have to reassure myself  that I'm doing the same thing again and that I have given them a good start in life.  If I hadn't taken them in, they would most likely be diseased or starved to death by now.  The man will be taking Milly and Monty today or tomorrow.  And I know for certain that Mr Ayak would never give them to anyone who wasn't capable of giving them a good life.  Four dogs was never going to be easy...I should have thought it through.

I have to accept that I'm getting older.  I physically can't manage the way I could  years ago.  I'm so stubborn though, and I attempt to do things that are beyond my capabilities hence my accident last Tuesday. 

I'm so relieved that Mr Ayak has come home and is helping me with difficult decisions, and also sorting out a lot of practical problems too.  He will only be here for a few days, and of course I will be sorry to see him go again, but for the moment it's enough for me to know just how much he cares for me and my welfare.

We are both hoping and praying that this year will see a change in our situation, and that we can at last spend more time together.  Fingers crossed.


  1. Oh Linda - I can imagine just how you are feeling about Monty and Milly because I would be just the same. You will probably beat yourself up a lot and it is understandable. Four dogs however is a lot for someone to manage, especially semi-wild ones that have not been trained.

    Hope the back is on the mend but they do take ages to heal. I sometimes feel I could take a medical degree just on the back and its problems :)

  2. Glad Mr Ayak is home, Linda and that you talked to your sister in law about your back. I do hope you won't need anything other than the things that she suggested.
    I have thought for a while now that the dogs were too much for you. Four dogs iare a lot to take on. I am sure you are doing them a great favour (M&M) by letting them go to a larger place. Don't be tempted to take on any more, mind!
    You sound a bit like me with your stubbornness!

    Nuts in May

  3. FF and Maggie

    Thanks for your kind words. They have gone now. The man came to collect them about half an hour ago. Mr Ayak has gone with them to settle them in. I couldn't watch them go. I just shut myself in the bedroom and sobbed my heart out.

    This has to be the last time I take in strays. Please please...anyone who reads my blog regularly...if you see me talking about stray dogs..stop me please.

    Maggie...I am too stubborn for my own good. I have to stop. Your stubborn nature however is channelled in the right direction at the will see you through your difficult time. xxx

  4. What a wonderful man you have there.
    I do sympathise about Monty and Milly, but think of it this taking them in you gave them a good start in life, fed and cared for and you know they are going to a person who will want and care for them. Of course you'll miss them...they're your family too...but as you say yourself, you have to adapt tyo the idea that age brings its' attendant problems.
    Mark you, I'd have been shut in the bedroom sobbing my heart out too.
    Mr. ayak's sister sounds as if she has the right idea...especially about moving about.
    I had a bout of back pain years ago, was told to rest and stayed in pain for over six months...if only I'd just got on with things I am sure i would have had less trouble.
    Make the most of your time together and look after yourself.

  5. At least you have Beki and Poppy to cuddle - it would have been worse if M&M had been inside more - you would have felt unable to let them go. You've done the right thing but I would also have been crying and unable to say goodbye to them.

    Glad Mr A is with you.


  6. Fly: It's a sad day for me but I am a little relieved that I won't have to struggle with them anymore and I am assured by Mr A that the new place is fine and that the man says I can visit anytime to check for myself. I won't of course, because it would only upset me.
    It's strange how one used to be told to rest up with a bad back. I do have osteo-arthritis and the doctor who diagnosed it a few years ago told me that inactivity was the worst possible thing for a bad back.

    FF: Yes I agree. If they had become house-dogs it would have been much harder to let them go.

  7. So sorry you have to let go of M& M. I hope you recover fast and get back on your feet sooner. Take rest.

  8. Chaitra and Heiko

    Thankyou xxx

  9. I hope you back gets better with the heat therapy.

    Just think of M&M as being adopted. Now you will have room and means to rescue another dog should the situation arise.

    I so hope the Mr. finds work close to home, and soon.

  10. Thankyou @eloh...I don't dare think of rescuing another's just too much..I'll stick with my two..but I'll continue to feed strays when I'm out and about.


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