Monday, 1 February 2010

One step forward.....

...and six back!

It's been lovely having Mr Ayak here.  I only expected it to be for a few days.   It now seems like it could be longer.  It would appear that when he left Istanbul to fly here on Saturday morning, he had a row with his boss.  The boss told him he couldn't take any time off.  Mr Ayak told him that he had no choice, that his wife needed him and he had to go...and that he would return as soon as possible.  This man has him over a barrel.  He advanced Mr A's wages to enable him to settle some of our bills and debts, and Mr A has subsequently been working for him for nothing so he can pay what he owes.

Mr Ayak had been here only 24 hours when his boss phoned to say that he didn't need him to return, that business wasn't good (due most likely to the fact that Mr A generates most of the business anyway) and that Mr Ayak must pay the money he owes within the next couple of days.  Of course Mr A can't pay him now and he's told him, to which the response was that he would take him to Court.

This is how Turkish bosses behave...I've blogged about it.  I naively thought that this one might be different.  After all he did lend Mr A money.  But he had his reasons...Mr A is good at selling.  No...he's better than just good...he could sell fridges to eskimos.  Lending him money keeps him tied to the boss. Like most Turkish bosses, he's very short-sighted.  They have to be in total control, and he would rather cut off his nose to spite his face by sacking Mr A, than give him a few days off.  Bastards...all of them!

There's no work locally...there won't be anything till around the end of April/beginning of I don't know what we will do.  Struggle on I we always do.

It was a pretty awful day all round. Milly and Monty went to their new home, which left me distraught. In spite of strong painkillers my back doesn't seem to be improving

I'm fed up with whinging and moaning and I'm not going to write another blog post until I have something cheerful or positive to write it may be a while before you see me again!




  1. OK, Linda, now stop right there!
    This is YOUR Blog. You do not force any of us here to read it, we do so of our own free will and all of us have reason our own reasons for visiting. This is your own private place to vent, rejoice, blow off steam, celebrate and mourn. There isn't a Blog Police that will come cite you for doing what makes you feel better, so, you keep on doing what is best for YOU

    Now MY reason I am here is because I find many similarities in our respective 'Life Circumstances' and because I do care what happens to you; even though we have never met or spoke on the phone, or even shared an e-mail I still wish the best for you. I love to hear of your triumphs and I empathise with your 'sticky patches.'

    Let's look at the positives.

    Your husband is home. You have adult, human companionship with someone who loves you and that you love. The dogs have gone to a new life where they will interact with other dogs and have a 'job' to do. The house is being seen to. The garden will stop being the Amazon. And, well, did the boss-man have Mr. A sign a piece of paper for the advance... hmm?

    There are always negatives and challenges in anything, but, why focus on that?

    At least for today, you be happy with you and with the wondrous man who quite obviously adores you, and realise how blessed you are.

    Sending warm thoughts and bickies.

  2. I go along with Kitty. And another positive maybe: Mr. Ayak can sort out the garden in time to plant a few veggies so you have something to eat in your cashless time? We currently live in €5 a week. So food comes from our land or the wild.

  3. I can't add anything more than Kitty and Heiko except that I am sorry this is all hitting you all at the same time ... with the back pain, job issues, and having to find the dogs a new home.

    I hope you find a way to let some of the worry go so as to enjoy your time together and I hope you won't stay away because you feel like your readers are only interested in good news. I stop by your place to experience another world. I like learning about your life there ... real life has issues like the ones you're experiencing and it's perfectly fine to share.

    Take time to heal and enjoy your husband, but please don't stay away too long or because you think you can't write what is real.

  4. Ayak - coming back to your blog after being all wrapped up in my family and see what I've missed.

    You've had a dreadful accident and you're injured. Your husband's just lost his job.

    My friend, my heart is with you. I'm far away, but I'm praying for your speedy recovery and that you and your husband will see a vast improvement in your situation.

    Much love and thinking of you at this time....

    Maria xxxx

  5. These other four ladies have said everything that I would have said. I would also guess that one gloomy thing is the current exchange rate drop which means that your pension is lower than it used to be. Oh, just thought - you're not Euros are you? Mr FF's ma's pension has gone down by about a third!

    At least it is there for emergencies and must give you some breathing space until Mr A finds more work.

  6. Thankyou...all of you for such kind words and encouragement. You have all made me feel that it's OK to write about the bad times as well as the good. We will survive...we've had bad times before...we manage somehow.

    FF: I wish my pension could actually be kept to one side for emergencies. Unfortunately it only just covers the essential bills and the monthly payment on my credit card which has escalated due to Mr A being out of work last year. It was always hoped that it could be used to get us through winter when there's little or no work...but things never quite work out the way you plan them!

  7. What a horrible situation....and nomatter how good it is to have Mr. Ayak home, money worries are always dreadful.
    The injustice of his boss's actions is so hurtful too.
    Yes, I know you'll survive, but I do know how hard it is also.
    I wish I could do more than just sympathise with you.

  8. Do you ever think about returning to the UK? I have an aunt who spent most of her life in Australia but always keeping going her UK NI stamps. After my uncle died she was able to return to the UK and qualified for a lovely ground floor flat with a garden

    Just a thought

  9. p.s. I know that makes her sound very mercenary but she did spend over 20 years as a teacher in quite a tough London school - so she paid her dues.

  10. Fly: It's actually enough for me today to have sympathy and helps more than you can imagine.

    FF: No I wouldn't return to the UK. If I find it difficult to survive here on very little money, it would be impossible there. And what about Mr A? Do I leave him behind? Because it costs an awful lot of money for a Turkish man to get a visa for the UK...and once there he wouldn't be able to work until he qualified for a NI number which takes months. People are under the misapprehension that immigrants in the UK can enter the country and claim benefits, get housing, jobs etc immediately. The reality is entirely different. I have friends married to Turks who have tried and failed. Unless you have a lot of money in the bank to see you through the first six months you might as well forget it.
    So all in all it's better to be hard up here than the UK.

  11. Quick word Ayak, not much time, we have loads of friends over staying with us as you know.

    It will all work out, things always do, you know that, and you always have friends who love and care for you, always.

  12. No, I meant as a couple - I must have it all skew-wiff (sp?) in my head though. I had thought as he was married to an English lady he would be able to legitimately work and obtain citizenship. I didn't know a visa had to be purchased.

  13. Ann: Thankyou...I know I do. Enjoy your friends...don't exhaust yourself too much!

    FF: It makes no difference being married...he still needs a visa. I would of course have to sponsor him as he is my husband but I would have to prove that I had sufficient funds to support him whilst he obtains work (which I don't have)...which yes of course he could do legitimately. But as I said NI numbers aren't handed out on arrival and you can't work without one.

    To be honest...I've had this discussion more times than I've had hot dinners. People often suggest it, thinking it must be easy. Easy of course if you have a lot of money but impossible if you don't.

    Although the bottom line is that neither of us have any desire to live in the UK anyway

  14. Your last two lines say it all and are pretty much how Mr FF and I feel too (although I have to admit to sometimes just wishing my private plane was on standby in the garden - to whisk me there with no hanging about or queuing).Of course in this fantasy is the fact that the bichons could hop on it as well without all the vet's preamble.

    I said it was a fantasy


  15. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Mr. Ayak's job and hope that everything somehow works out for the best. I also hope you get to feeling better soon, know that you and your husband will be in our thoughts.

  16. Understand what you mean about not wanting to return to the U.K. even if Mr. Ayak could qualify rapidly.
    I went over to visit my mother and although I enjoyed it as a visit it wasn't somewhere I wanted to live. Expense, for one thing.
    I do hope your back pain lessens soon...that alone is enough to make you depressed, and I think painkillers tend to increase depression....or they do for me.
    I do hope things pick up for you both.

  17. Ah yes, the 'Marriage Visa', which you have to apply for before you get married and before you enter the UK, but which, no one actually tells you about until you are already there, and married! Seriously.

    My English (ex)husband and I went to Citizen's Advice in the UK BEFORE we were married (at Gretna) to try to sort out all the legal details necessary so I could get a 'Permanent Leave to Remain Visa' and a 'Right to Work' enhancement. We did everything we were instructed to do, legally, but, it wasn't until we were on our way back from a honeymoon driving trip which took us from Scotland to France that the Douanes at HM Customs in Calais demanded our Marriage Visa to go along with our Marriage Certificate. "A what?? Are you having us on, mate?" But no, he wasn't.
    It took innumerable trips to The Home Office in London before I finally received that, some 10 months later. By then I was pregnant, so, who would hire me? Did I get maternity benefit, etc? Nope. Unemployment? Nope, even though the USA and the UK have a (supposed) agreement, I never got a penny of dole money, even though I have worked my entire life and paid in.

    (Actually, you probably need more than just a Marriage Visa, nowadays, however I'm speaking of the problems I encountered in 1996/1997.)

    After my daughters were born (in the UK, to an English Father,) THEY were entitled to Child Benefit, but, *I*, personally, never received anything.

    I read these stories about how 'immigrants just come to the UK, get housing and money handed out to them,' well, that certainly wasn't MY experience! And English is my first language!

  18. FF: Yes my fantasy would be very similar.

    Mr H:'re very kind xxx

    Fly: Yes...visits are wonderful..but this is home..warts and all! Oh if my back pain disappeared I'm sure I'd be a lot happier!

    Kitty: Exactly...this is indeed the reality. I know you understand because clearly you also have similar problems it would seem. Well...what's the saying? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Hmm..I guess you and I must be pretty strong by now! xxx


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