Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Tomorrow is Thursday's Thursday tomorrow, and I was informed by Mr Ayak when he returned from Ankara last week that his father would be here tomorrow.

As yet we have heard nothing.  This isn't really unusual.  He wouldn't think of ringing me to let me know when he is due to arrive...because he doesn't talk to me.  He would normally phone Mr Ayak, who would then tell me.  The problem is that since Mr Ayak returned from Ankara last week, FIL isn't speaking to him either.  Also it's quite normal for members of Turkish families to turn up unexpectedly, and it's just accepted, so they don't feel it's necessary to let you know.

You may recall that my friends from Antalya came up to visit me over Christmas, and stayed for almost two weeks.  This had been planned well in advance, and as I had spent so much time on my own, I very much looked forward to having them here.   Two days before they were due to arrive, FIL phoned Mr Ayak to inform him that he would be arriving here on the 26th December.   Mr Ayak then informed me.  I sent a text message to FIL saying that, I was very sorry but my friends would be staying here at the time, so it wasn't really convenient.  He knows very well that the house isn't big enough to accommodate more than two guests at a time.  I had no reply from him, but he then phoned Mr A and told him that I had said he (FIL) wasn't "allowed" to come and stay in "his" house.   He said then that he would come here whenever he wished.  So I have to admit to being a little anxious over Christmas about whether he would just turn up!  He didn't fortunately.

There was a huge row in Ankara last Thursday, just before Mr A left.   Mr A had informed me that although he travelled up there at his father's request (or rather..insistance) to pay him the property/land tax, he decided he wouldn't pay it after all.   However, the row lasted around 7 hours, and ended up with Mr Ayak throwing the money in his father's face, and walking out. His father's last words were that he would be here on Thursday.

Mr Ayak has been very busy this week finalising the setting up of a business with another man.  Contracts have been signed, and his partner is thankfully able to cover the immediate costs.  I don't want to tempt fate by talking about this too much, because I will end up disappointed if it doesn't work out.  I hate to sound so pessimistic, but anything to do with work in this country is so unpredictable...and we have had disappointments in the past.  So I'll leave it at that for now.

But I'm feeling anxious now, because I don't know whether FIL will arrive tomorrow or not, and even though I'd like Mr A to be around if he does turn up, I don't want to prevent him from dealing with the many things that he has to do at the moment.

I know Mr Ayak would be here if I asked him...but I am just going to put on my very brave face and tell him that it's fine, that I'm not bothered, and that I can deal with anything.

I just have to convince myself now!


  1. The very best of luck to Mr. Ayak's project. Keeping fingers crossed for you both.

    As to FIL, you need to keep him off Mr. Ayak's back while he is sorting out his new venture, so, Ayak, it is stiffening the sinews time...once again.

    You cope wonderfully, but it must be such an unpleasant feeling waiting for the selfish, egoistical so and so to manifest himself.

    Make sure you get some cheap cheese that he doesn't like.

    Starve him out!

  2. Good Luck with Mr Ayak's project.
    Oh my...... you are a very placid person.
    I couldn't cope with all that coming & going unexpectedly.
    You deserve a medal.

    Nuts in May

  3. Aaargh if only old men like FIL didn't get away with it.

    Here's hoping Mr Ayak can start building a new life for you . He sounds like a real New Man!

  4. What all these fine bloggers said goes for me too. This sounds like a fine story for a film - strong British woman takes on patriarchal bully in another country - You could be played by Meryl.

    Okay, damp sheets in the damp room and perhaps Marmite on everything (unless FIL is a fan)

  5. This is the other side of "family values", that we often don´t hear about.

    I hope that Mr.Ayak´s new venture works out. Then perhaps you could move away, it seems like your reservations on moving to Milas were well founded. FIL will continue to throw his weight around (self-entitlement gone mad)and make life a mysery for you.

    If he does come make sure he gets the damp room and raid the larder before he gets there lol.

  6. Thankyou all for your comments and good wishes. I don't need to make any attempt to starve him out, because the cupboard (and fridge) is bare anyway. I've deliberately not done any shopping. The spare room is beautifully damp and smelly. If he turns up..I'm fine about it. I actually feel quite calm and in control. I have a sneaky feeling he won't come though..I think it's just a way opf keeping us on our toes. Well...whatever will be will be!

  7. I know what you're going through. I've been there too. Wish you all the best my friend....

  8. I have that drink ready.... (whether you need it or not.)

    I know what you mean about keeping projects quiet until they are launched; I have learned (the hard way) to keep everything completely secret until it's already under way. There really are hateful people out there who have nothing better to do with their lives other than to make others suffer by screwing projects up with malicious gossip and worse. Why do they do it? Sheer boredom, most likely.

    So, I'll just send best wishes, a nod and a wink in solidarity and leave it at that.

  9. I hope FIL has not turned up and that you are able to enjoy your Thursday!

  10. Maria: Oh I know you understand. But you have to put up with so much more than I do. You're very tolerant!

    Kitty: You're right...and thanks for the nod and wink!

    Jan: Thankyou...I did enjoy today...and he hasn't turned up!


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