Tuesday, 2 February 2010

The usefulness of families

When Mr Ayak and I had a lengthy conversation on the phone with his sister, Esma, this week, it got me thinking about how useful it is to have a doctor in the family.  And particularly with my current predicament, because she is an orthopaedic surgeon.  You can never be quite sure that doctors are giving you the best advice, but when it's a family member, you know they will do their best for you.  I'm not sure my back is getting much better, but Esma says it will take time.  If it's no better by the end of the week then she insists I need to have more checks.  I really wish we lived nearer to Ankara so that I could receive treatment from her.   I'm almost tempted to make the long journey, if it becomes necessary.

My brother-in-law, Yakup, is simply a genius.  Quantum physics is his speciality.  My mind boggles at the thought.  He's also brilliant at dealing with computer problems.  When I occasionally have a problem that I just can't solve, I phone him and he gains access to my pc from his home in Ankara.  Whilst we are talking on the phone, I just sit back and watch while the cursor moves and clicks and he sorts it all out for me.

I shouldn't forget to mention my father-in-law of course.  Although I dislike him, I am grateful that he has given us this house to live in.  So useful in our current financial situation, not having to pay rent every month.

The family I married into is a large extended one.  Amongst the various cousins there are teachers, musicians, and more doctors.  Because they are dotted about all over Turkey, I've only met a fraction of them.

Mr Ayak has been having problems with his teeth for some time now.  Serious problems.  He's afraid of dentists. He won't admit it... he just makes excuses about not having time to see one.  His cousin, Volkan, is a dentist.  He used to live in Sivas in the east of Turkey, which meant that Mr Ayak rarely saw him,  Because Mr A spent his childhood with his grandparents in Sivas, he and Volkan grew up together so were very close.

Volkan moved down to Fethiye with his family last year and he and Mr A talk on the phone quite often. Volkan keeps telling him to go and stay for a few days so that he can sort his teeth out for no charge. Now is the time to do it.  It's the perfect opportunity and I've managed to talk Mr Ayak into getting his teeth fixed at last.

During the past two days Mr Ayak has achieved quite a lot.   The conversation he had with Esma has made me less anxious about my injury.  He recognised the problems I had with Milly and Monty and has re-homed them.  My landline has been out of order for a week, and he has dealt with this.  He visited the Muhtar and the over-flowing rubbish bin has now been emptied.  He accompanied me to Milas so that he could carry back all the heavy shopping.  He also called in a favour from a friend in the village...who spent yesterday clearing the garden...and will be back again today to finish the job.

So yesterday I sent him off on the bus to Fethiye to have his dental treatment.  He needs root canal work, bridges and crowns and all sorts of things.  It will only take a few work is fast and efficient in Turkey.

He'll be back in no time....with a dazzling new smile!


  1. Oh goodness, he is going to be so sore with so much to be done - I feel for him. Here's to Mr A for facing those those dental demons.

    As for family - I've never been one to like someone just because I was related to them. As I get older I am becoming as outspoken as my mum was (I wonder if it is hereditary) and consequently have now parted company with quite a few cousins.
    It doesn't bother me in the leaast - life is too short to put up with rubbish. At least Mr A's family are far enough away - even though they sound your sort of people.

  2. FF: I suppose you could say I'm quite the opposite. I have embraced my Turkish family with open arms...and those I have had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know have made me feel so welcome. There are always exceptions, but the only one is my father-in-law...but then he is much the same with everyone he meets, so I don't take it personally.

    The family unit is important here. They care for each other a great deal. So I'm actually quite sad that many of them live so far away.

  3. Unfortunately in my though large and extended family there's no great concentration of skills to be found and they are all so far away that I see most of them every 10 years or so. Luckily on Susan's side of the family, they at least have some money, which helps if we get really stuck.

    Glad you are getting things sorted. I'm not one for dentists either. I see him less often than my relatives! Luckily I don't seem to have Mr. A's problems. In fact I don't know what tooth ache is like, which is why I don't see the dentist, because on the rare occasion that I do go, it usually results in pain.

  4. I'm glad things are working out a bit better.

    I am glad (tho yes it's terribly difficult) that M & M have gone to a larger place. They're still pups and really need to burn off energy.

    Take care of yourself. Do what you're supposed to do- ie: rest and take your medications.

    Things will get better. Or at the very least they will change.

    Virtual hugs/j

  5. English family are like your' useful skills to speak of...except my brother who is a good listener, who accommodates me and transports me here and there when I'm in England...he is the best brother anyone could wish for.
    So I was somewhat amazed at the skills within Mr A's family. I don't envy him his dental treatment. Volkan has said that it's my turn next. I'm overdue for a check-up but it's not urgent.

    Jes: Thankyou...I always appreciate your kind words ..Hugs back to you (( ))

  6. Oh, Ayak!
    'I'm overdue for a check up but it's not urgent'.
    That's my line for avoiding a visit to the dentist....

  7. Oh dear've got me sussed!

  8. Funnily enough I was thinking about your in-laws. If there was ever a time when they could make themselves useful now would have been the time. From all the odd jobs in the house to the weeds in the garden and sorting out the rubbish collection business. It could have saved Mr.Ayak´s job.

    I´m sure the trip to his brother will cheer him up. His new pearly white teeth will boost his self-confidence.

    Anyway your trip to Billyland is actually not that far off, something to look forward too.

  9. An award for you over at don't have to do anything about it, it is just to say how much i enjoy your blog.

  10. Chris: The In-laws are having a difficult time at the moment and they live so far away, but yes if they'd been available, it would have been useful.

    Yes...not long till 18th April when I see Billy again.

    Fly: Thankyou xx


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