Being deliberately nasty takes so much effort, and in my experience it doesn't make you feel very good about yourself. You may get instant gratification at the time..but the feeling is short-lived.
So I'm continuing to be nice to FIL. It doesn't take a huge effort because he's out all day, and when he's here I'm usually in another room. I still offer him food...he still declines my offers.
I learned from Mr Ayak that yesterday FIL complained about the bed he's sleeping in. It's too hard and he's not warm enough. So I've sorted it out. Next to the mattress it now has a fitted sheet, then a quilt and then another fitted sheet. On top it has a quilt and two thick blankets. That should do the trick!
Mr A and I are both smokers. Yes I know it's a bad habit, and we are short of money, but it helps with the stress we both have at the moment, and we have cut right back on the amount we smoke. Sometimes we run out of cigarettes, but we just put up with it. FIL always has cigarettes but it wouldn't occur to offer them to Mr A or I, when we don't have them, he will just smoke in front of us. Mr A has worked every day with him on the land, often without cigarettes, but FIL hasn't once offered him one.
This morning, I was in the kitchen, FIL was out in the garden. Mr A came in and asked if I had any cigarettes. I have about half a packet left. Mr A said "Can I take two, because my father has run out of cigarettes?" Oh! What a perfect opportunity for me to be nice! Instead of handing over two to Mr A, I went out into the garden and said to FIL "I understand you have run out of cigarettes, please have one of mine". He took one...I could see how difficult it was for him to say thankyou...but of course he had to.
I enjoyed the moment immensely. I kind of have that smug feeling again!