Saturday, 13 March 2010

Trying to be optimistic

The weather for the last two days has been very pleasant.

Mr Ayak was away for a few days at the beginning of the week with his partner, doing all sorts of stuff in connection with their business venture.  I've been very reluctant to get into any discussion about this, because he is so enthusiastic and I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't work out.

He is such an optimist.   He has dreams...he tries to make them reality...and sometimes they fail.  I'm a realist.  I keep my feet firmly on the ground and try to keep his head out of the clouds so that if things don't work out, he doesn't have so far to fall.  I have a mental fight with myself over this.  I so want to encourage him and share his enthusiasm, but I just hate to see him disappointed.

But for the first time yesterday, I allowed myself to listen to his plans, because I have a feeling that it may just work out this time.   Fingers crossed.

Yesterday was a good day.  Mr Ayak has given up looking for temporary work to tide us over until money starts coming in (probably mid-May) because there is absolutely nothing going at the moment, and he is just wasting money on petrol going out to search, when it could be better spent on food.  So he has been busy digging over the garden, generally tidying up ...and we sat out in the sunshine and just enjoyed each other's company.....something that's quite rare these days.

There's always a fly in the ointment though.  If Mr Ayak has something to tell me that he knows I'm not going to like, he waits until I'm in a good mood. 

So there we were..sitting on the terrace drinking our coffee and enjoying the view...and he informs me that his father had phoned him yesterday to say that he will be arriving here on Monday.

He will be coming on his own this time, without mother-in-law.  She left him about a month ago.  I haven't mentioned it before, because I didn't know whether this was just a temporary blip.   But apparently she has asked for a divorce.  It must pretty serious, because Turkish women put up with an awful lot.   They will tolerate a bad marriage because they feel they have no other choice, so it takes a great deal of courage to walk away after so many years.

So, although you all know I've been dreading FIL's visit, I think this one will be quite this space!


  1. Well you have me and all your blogosphere friends rooting for Mr Ayak and his new business venture. Let us indeed hope that this could be it.

    As for your FIL turning up on Monday - I suppose he will not talk about his wife and the marital problems. I mean it could take days of him justifying himself and his awful behaviour and you would either get too bored or too outraged on your MIL's behalf.

    Be strong, Ayak. This could be the turning point coming up. Fingers crossed.

  2. I have also found that Turks hate giving bad news and will delay it as long as possible. I am not sure what they are expecting.. human combustion or something? Learning of bad news later than others makes it that much harder not to over-react. Although over-reaction probably just confirms all their reasons for not telling me early. It can be quite exasperating, I know.
    Still, as you say, this particular trip might be quite interesting. :)

  3. FF: Well I doubt he will talk to me anyway, but that won't stop me listening in on his conversations with Mr A! Not that I'm nosy of course...hmmm.

    Nomad: You are absolutely right. I think I've even mentioned in a previous post about delaying bad news, even the way that when someone dies, the person relaying the news may well say the person is very sick, before admitting that they are dead....I have known this happen on a couple of occasions.

  4. I don't know, delaying bad news until an opportune moment sounds like a good plan to me. You might get a way with not telling at all in case of the bad event not after all!

    Good for MIL to leave FIL. Someone's obviously got sense. Well good luck with it and the business venture of course.

  5. Thanks Heiko xx

    I have great respect for MIL but I hope she has the strength to stick with her decision.

  6. Wow... you life is never dull, is it?
    My heart fell when you mentioned your father-in-law's visit, and, even with the circumstances, I know it'll be uneasy if not just plain difficult.

    On the other hand, my optimist self hopes that the looming divorce will cause him to realize what a jerk he has been and have him start to mend fences while there's still time. OK, yes, porcine aviation displays are as likely but, I'll still hold out hope!

    In the meantime, enjoy your weekend!

    Warm hugs and quiches from Kitty xo

  7. I expect FIL will be full of self justification and as bombastic as ever...but he will really have lost face among his family and friends......

    Empty your cupboards, Ayak! Feed food to the dogs in front of him, reminding him that he said it wasn't good enough for him last time...well, I would, but you're much too considerate of Mr. Ayak's feelings to be so inhospitable.

    Poor MIL...she sounded nice.

  8. Kitty: Oh there's no chance he will change his ways. He always thinks he's right. I'm making the most of the weekend before the arrival!

    Fly: There is already little respect for him amongst the family, but he's too arrogant to see it. The cupboards are already empty..we're living day to day at the moment, so I couldn't feed him even if I wanted to!

    And yes MIL is nice...lovely lady..I do hope she sticks to her guns...she deserves better.

  9. I hope the visit of FIL goes well and is not too stressful and think pot half full not half empty for your hubbys business venture, this may be the time for it all to take off, will be thinking of you next week. xx


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