Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Now...how does that old song go?

Ah yes..."You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all......."

I've lost count of the number of times in my life that those words have popped into my head.  At times when I feel hurt by someone who loves me...and also when I've hurt someone I love.

The words are so true aren't they?   And I believe it's because those we love and are really close to, are those who we feel comfortable enough to just be ourselves.  It's a case of letting one's guard down, ranting and raving and saying something hurtful, without thinking first.   And it's always regretted later.

It happens with Mr Ayak and I from time to time, as I imagine it happens with most married couples.  It sometimes happens between my daughter and I.  Fortunately we are all  willing apologisers...so the feeling doesn't last for too long.

Those words popped up again today...well in fact a couple of times over the past week or so.    I made the journey over to the hotel again today in the gruelling heat, only to be met by a grumpy, stressed and quite unbearable Mr A.   He was moaning at Mehmet and Erhan about trivial things...they both looked at me and raised their eyebrows.   Then it was my turn.   It seemed that every time I said something, Mr A came back with a hurtful retort.   After a while, my responses towards him also became hurtful.  Once you're on that damned merry-go-round, it's quite difficult to get off!

So I cut the visit short.  I wasn't prepared to take any more.  Mr A gave me a lift back on the motorbike to Bodrum bus station.  We both mumbled our goodbyes,  and I caught the bus back home...trying desperately not to cry.

During the journey I decided to text him to say that even though I understood he was stressed, there was no need for him to take it out on me.  Before I had chance to send it, I received a text from him saying "I'm sorry".  I sent my message anyway, and he replied saying "I shouldn't be treating you like this...I'm really sorry".  And then I did cry...tears of relief...because I absolutely hate bad feeling between us. 

He has phoned me three times since I got home...for no particular reason...he's just checking to make sure I've forgiven him!


***************

PS...Because I have arthritis, practically all over my body, I do get a fair few aches and pains.  This past week my left wrist and thumb have been excrutiatingly painful, and I've had to avoid lifting with my left hand, or moving my thumb too much.  I've been using ibubrofen cream, but it doesn't help.

Today Mehmet massaged my wrist, thumb and hand for about half an hour...and I am absolutely amazed at the improvement.  There is only very slight discomfort now, no pain, and I can move my thumb properly.

Mehmet has healing hands...what a treasure he is!

11 comments:

  1. Is there some magic that Turks have for massage?
    A friend, Osman, can relieve Mr Fly from some dreadful pain in his back and shoulders...

    I suppose these days, given the distance, it's text and make up rather than kiss and make up!

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  2. Fly: They just have a knack..it's a skill that seems to pass from one generation to the next. So the fact that Mehmet is also a qualified medical masseur, is an added bonus.

    Ah yes...text and make up..a sign of the times!

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  3. amazing how a well placed apology from one (even if both are to blame) can defuse tension and hurt so quickly and yet without it bad feeling and resentment grow so rapidly. I should be so easy to say "I am sorry" even if we are not sorry for what we did or said but sorry it made the other person feel bad . It should be so easy and yet sometimes it is so very hard x

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  4. Kelloggsville: You are so right. There have been times when I wouldn't back down and apologise, and Mr A has also dug his heels in. The resentment and anger does build and it's very unpleasant. I often apologise even if I'm not in the wrong...simply because it works and we quickly get back to normal. Life's too short to let this stuff go on for too long.

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  5. This is a test comment...because a couple of my followers have informed me that they are unable to make comments on my blog today.

    If anyone else experiences the same problem, I'm letting you know that I've posted details on the Blogger Help forum, and will let you know if I get a response or solution to the problem

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  6. Aww hugs to you Ayak, but so glad both of you have made up now, and i kow the feeling lol xx Glad the massage has helped, maybe u need to get him to do it every day hehehe xx

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  7. Bomb: Thanks for the hugs. Oh I'd love a massage every day...I just can't be bothered to make the round trip on the bus to get it! Good luck for tomorrow by the way xxx

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  8. Have you tried Movelat Gel? Steve uses it sometimes and finds it good. I'm glad things were sorted out between Mr A and yourself :-)

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  9. Jan: No I haven't but I will give it a try.
    Thanks xxx

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  10. The good, the bad, the happy and the sad - isn't that life Ayak? And Yash is like Mr. A too. Very stressed sometimes.

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  11. Gaelikaa...It is certainly life as we know it isn't it?

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