Ah yes..."You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all......."
I've lost count of the number of times in my life that those words have popped into my head. At times when I feel hurt by someone who loves me...and also when I've hurt someone I love.
The words are so true aren't they? And I believe it's because those we love and are really close to, are those who we feel comfortable enough to just be ourselves. It's a case of letting one's guard down, ranting and raving and saying something hurtful, without thinking first. And it's always regretted later.
It happens with Mr Ayak and I from time to time, as I imagine it happens with most married couples. It sometimes happens between my daughter and I. Fortunately we are all willing apologisers...so the feeling doesn't last for too long.
Those words popped up again today...well in fact a couple of times over the past week or so. I made the journey over to the hotel again today in the gruelling heat, only to be met by a grumpy, stressed and quite unbearable Mr A. He was moaning at Mehmet and Erhan about trivial things...they both looked at me and raised their eyebrows. Then it was my turn. It seemed that every time I said something, Mr A came back with a hurtful retort. After a while, my responses towards him also became hurtful. Once you're on that damned merry-go-round, it's quite difficult to get off!
So I cut the visit short. I wasn't prepared to take any more. Mr A gave me a lift back on the motorbike to Bodrum bus station. We both mumbled our goodbyes, and I caught the bus back home...trying desperately not to cry.
During the journey I decided to text him to say that even though I understood he was stressed, there was no need for him to take it out on me. Before I had chance to send it, I received a text from him saying "I'm sorry". I sent my message anyway, and he replied saying "I shouldn't be treating you like this...I'm really sorry". And then I did cry...tears of relief...because I absolutely hate bad feeling between us.
He has phoned me three times since I got home...for no particular reason...he's just checking to make sure I've forgiven him!
PS...Because I have arthritis, practically all over my body, I do get a fair few aches and pains. This past week my left wrist and thumb have been excrutiatingly painful, and I've had to avoid lifting with my left hand, or moving my thumb too much. I've been using ibubrofen cream, but it doesn't help.
Today Mehmet massaged my wrist, thumb and hand for about half an hour...and I am absolutely amazed at the improvement. There is only very slight discomfort now, no pain, and I can move my thumb properly.
Mehmet has healing hands...what a treasure he is!