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Monday, 30 August 2010

I'm worried....

...about Mr Ayak.  He is showing signs of being very depressed.  The deadline for one of the business rental instalments is due tomorrow.  He's paid half but he hasn't a cat in hell's chance of paying the rest.

I've been on the phone on and off this morning and he is so low he is talking about not wanting to live anymore.  That really worries me.   I think he may well have to just walk away from this bloody business for the sake of his health.

In fact I have asked him to come home today.  I'm more concerned about him than how much he owes...and I want him here so that I can take care of him.  Bugger everyone else...he's done his best and it was clearly not  enough.  He just feels that he is completely useless.

I should be able to deal with this.  It was my job for many years.  I suffer from depression myself.  I should have all the answers...but I don't really know what to do for the best.

I don't know if I should even be blogging about this, but I'm filling the time.  I'm waiting for him to arrive and I'm worried about him getting here on the motorbike safely.  I just want him here...home...safe.  And it does help my state of mind to write about it.  It makes me feel calmer...stronger...and that's just how I need to be now.

14 comments:

  1. He's been badly let down...and, by the sound of things, not for the first time.

    He'll be much better at home with you, but you're going to have a hard time ahead of you getting him through it.

    Thinking of you and wishing there was something useful I could do.

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  2. Oh I am sorry to read this. The hotel owner is just going to have to understand that with the ash cloud etc etc the business did not do as well as hoped and perhaps he can just write off the shortfall in the rent. I mean if it's not there it's not there. It is such rotten luck that so much went against it because it did sound like a cracking idea.

    I can totally understand why Mr A is feeling like he is and echo Fly's comment about home being the best place for him. Maybe some long walks with the dogs will lift the mood a bit - I recall you saying what a lovely walk you had a few months ago. Just a change of environment would be a positive step.

    Good luck

    x

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  4. Sending friendship and a listening ear. Good luck.

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  5. Oh, I'm soooo sorry for you and the Mr.
    Sometimes it's just best to walk away and you did say he had some other business ideas and maybe in a few days, you can gently remind him of these. For right now, you might have to let him mourn a bit. It's what we all do when are dreams or ambitions fail us.
    Good luck to you and the Mr.
    It will be better a month from now. That's what I tell myself about the surgeries I had to have. .....in a month......

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  6. Thankyou everyone for your reassuring comments. He's home and safe. One minute he's down, then the next he's on the phone in a state of anxiety trying to sort out something to do with a new business idea. I'd like him to slow down a bit, but he's not listening to me at the moment. I need to give it a bit more time I think.

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  7. If his project doesn't succeed, it certainly wasn't for want of hard work and sacrifice. Men are always so ego-driven and when things go well, they are flying a mile in the air. But god help them, when things fall apart.
    He is lucky to have you to give him unconditional support.

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  8. Nomad: You are so right about men being ego-driven.

    I have always tried to support him...but it is difficult at times.

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  9. I think you both deserve hugs all round so zillions of them coming from me - consider yourselves superhugged lol xx

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  10. That was me above not anonymous.I'm commenting from the mobile and sometimes it happens!

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  11. gaelikaa: Well you're certainly not anonymous my dear friend! Thanks for the hugs xx

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