Thursday, 30 September 2010


It has been a busy week. I am still over at the hotel with Mr Ayak each day, and am becoming an excellent masseuse!  I've done four more customers since the first one I mentioned...and I've even received I must be doing something right!

The in-laws have been here since Sunday.  Judging by the amount of clothes they brought with them, I was assuming they planned to stay for months.  However, they are leaving tonight.

I would normally be quite pleased about this but this visit has been a real eye-opener for me.  Mr A and I have been having a difficult time recently.  He is I'm afraid typical of most Turkish men, in that he doesn't find it easy to sit and discuss our problems, something which I feel is essential to keeping a marriage on track.  He's a "bury his head in the sand" kind of person and thinks if we just don't talk about it, the problems will just disappear and everything will be fine.

It was never the intention for the in-laws to be aware that anything was wrong, but over the past couple of evenings, things have cropped up in conversation, and they are now completely in the picture.  Very surprisingly...FIL has been an excellent marriage guidance counsellor.  He has proved to be very diplomatic...he has in fact lectured Mr Ayak strongly, but without appearing to take sides.  He has also told me that he and MIL are very fond of me, consider me to be very much part of their family, and that the only reason they gave us this house, was because of me.  Simply because they trust and respect me.

I am totally and utterly amazed at this revelation.  It's taken almost 13 years to reach this point...but better late than never!

Mr Ayak appears to have taken on board everything his father has said, and the improvements in his attitude are already showing.

I think the business will finally close within the next few days.  Around a dozen English customers arrived at the hotel this week.  They weren't booked there...they were all transferred from another hotel that was in a bad state and they all complained.  We have managed to book almost every one of them for hamam treatments.   There are no more guests due to arrive.  Those staying there now are the last intake before the hotel closes.

Our plan for earning money from now on through the winter, is for Mr Ayak to buy stock of Mesir Macunu and to travel around the villages selling it from the car.  He did this a couple of years ago but as he didn't have a car at the time, had to involve another man with a vehicle, who literally ate all the profits!

Mesir Macanu is particularly popular with people in villages. Mr A knows he can sell it, and he will keep expenditure down to a minimum because we will plan his route every day, and there are 1000s of villages in the Mugla area that can be covered without costing too much petrol.

He was in negotiations a couple of months ago with a very large hotel in Didim to rent their spa centre for next year.  He also found a partner from Holland, who is a tour guide, lives and works in Turkey, and has money to invest.  However, after much discussion this which we included FIL..we have agreed that if we take on something of this size, we won't have so much control.  It's really just too big a leap from the business this year.

So we intend to look around for something of a similar size to the current business, and plan to work together as we have done over the past few weeks...because it seems to work.

Of course...this being Turkey...all these plans could change.  We'll just wait and see how it goes.

Finally....I am spending most of today at home, trying to catch up with chores...and sleep!   I am also going to try and catch up with reading all my favourite blogs, but due to lack of time, I may not be able to comment.  So please forgive me if I don't.  I'm sure normal service will be resumed pretty soon!


  1. The best part of all this is the love given by the inlaws! A so very positive and much needed compliment to you.

  2. Well,your way of handling FIL has finally paid dividends...though how you kept your hands off his throat at certain moments is beyond me!

    Next year's plans look good, too...I think you are right about going for something under your own control.

    So happy that things are better for you.

  3. I am thrilled by what your in laws said about you! That just proves that your way of doing things is the right way! You won their confidence.

    I hope the Winter selling will tide you over till the Spring when something else might come your way.
    One thing is........ that you can never be bored with your type of life and you are a very adaptable person. :-)
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  4. You sound so much more positive which is lovely. And wonderful to have such help from the in laws.

    What is mesir macanu??

    Thinking about it, you have sounded more positive since you guys have been working together so that sounds like a good plan.

    Bon courage x

  5. Charlotte Ann: Yes I really needed some positive feedback at this point in time.

    Fly: Things are definitely improving and I feel like a heavy weight (the tension between FIL and I) has been lifted. Thanks xx

    Maggie...No life here is never boring! Thanks for your good wishes xx

    Rosie: Thankyou xxx

    If you click on the words Mesir Macunu in my post it will link you to some info about it.

  6. OK I understand what Mesir Macunu is now but from the article it seems to be only used once a year for a celebration. Is it used in the villages as a sort of cure all??

  7. What a turn up for the books with your in-laws, but so much for the better! I think you're both very wise to go cautiously with business ideas for next year, it would be bad to over-stretch yourselves.

  8. Rosie: Yes that's exactly seems to be quite popular as a cure all. The best time for selling it is winter it would seem.

    Jan: I agree...we need to take a few more small steps.

  9. I must have missed out on fil getting back with mil.

  10. FF: Yes you did. It was some time fact the separation didn't last long. There seems to have been quite a misunderstanding and he didn't actually do whatever he was accused of.


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