Sunday, 5 September 2010

Walking away

There comes a point sometimes in life when you have to give up flogging a dead horse and just walk away from it.  Yesterday was one such day for Mr Ayak.

You may recall the problems that Mr A encountered right from the start of the hamam business.  The volcanic ash cloud resulting in cancellations.  The General Manager not being totally honest about the type of customers, and the many other obstacles he put in Mr A's way.

 A couple of weeks ago Mehmet, Mr A's partner, decided he wanted out of the partnership.  Mehmet  is an excellent masseur and a really nice guy, but there has been a distinct lack of enthusiasm or sense of responsibility on his part when it came to managing the business.  It was Mr A's agreed role to get customers and to manage the finances.  Mehmet's role was to manage personnel.  He just hasn't been doing it.  So he agreed to become just another member of staff, receiving personnel accommodation and food, and commission for the work he did.

Having taken this step back, he then seemed to lose interest completely....disappearing for hours on end, and turning up when it suited him.

Erhan was an absolute treasure (you may remember me mentioning him).  A hardworking young man, loyal to Mr A, and wonderful with customers.  This week he got his call-up papers to do his national service.  He knew they were imminent but had hoped to see the season out.  Sadly it was not to be, so two days ago he left for his home to say goodbye to his parents and will be off to training camp in a few days.  We were very sorry to see him go.

Davut seemed much the same as Erhan...or at least I thought so.  However, it was discovered a couple of days ago that he's actually had customers when Mr A wasn't there, and has pocketed the money.  The arrangement is that the amount the customer pays goes to Mr A and the masseur is then paid his commission.
Davut has been keeping the lot.   Mr A was informed by one of the bar staff, but not wishing to accept this as fact before checking, he actually managed to locate and speak to the customers involved.  He didn't confront Davut.  He was really hoping that he would come clean.   He didn't.  Mr A asked him how many customers he had while Mr A wasn't there...and he said none.  Mr A still didn't confront him, reckoning that Davut would just have to live with his conscience  (if he has one).  Mr A was just very hurt that someone he thought he trusted had stolen from him.  Haven't I said before...many times?...Mr A is just too trusting!

Yesterday morning, Mehmet started to moan about the state of the business and the fact that they weren't earning any money and that Mr A wasn't getting enough customers.  Mr A's response was "Mehmet...if I'm no good at this...maybe you think you can do better?"   Mehmet thought he could.  So Mr A has handed the business over to him and walked away from it.   Mehmet seems happy with this, even though he was reminded that there is still rent to pay on the hamam, rent for personnel accommodation, personnel food, etc, etc.    And that the hotel is now only 30% full.  Mehmet, I think, is in for a big shock.

Oh well...good luck to Mehmet...he's certainly going to need it.   And maybe when he has had a go at the reins, he'll realise just how much stress Mr A has suffered these past few months.  I give it a week before Mehmet too collapses under the strain of trying to earn money when it's impossible to find customers.  Mr A could of course stick it out with Mehmet at the helm, but he is in no fit state mentally to sit there and watch a sinking ship.

I'm surprised Mr A has lasted this long.  So many businesses in the area have folded over the last couple of months.  It's a sign of the times...people are just not spending money.

Mr A came home last night.  I am very concerned about him.  He doesn't want to talk.  He looks like he is on the verge of tears most of the time.  He just sits and stares into space.  At one point he seemed to brighten up a little and talked for 5 minutes about other possibilities....but  this glimmer of hope didn't last.

You know?  I just hate writing about all this doom and gloom.  Mine must be one of the most depressing blogs around at the moment.  I'm surprised I still have followers to be honest.  But I've always said I write this for helps to offload it.

So I'm going to try and end on a positive note.  I am not giving up.  We have survived 12 years of ups and downs.  There are ideas in the pipeline.  Mr A needs a few days of stress-free relaxation....and then we will start to re-build our lives.  Onwards and upwards!


  1. Oh crumbs, you sound like you're having a rough trot! I hope you feel much better very soon :)

  2. It says a lot about Mr A's kindness that he didn't wipe the floor with Davut and demand the money rightfully owed.

    What a shame and I really do sympathise - it's very hard to be the one on the side who has to be strong and comforting. But, as you said, you've survived 12 not always easy years and you've coped with those - I sincerely hope better times are ahead.

  3. Hi Kerry: Thankyou xxx

    FF: Thankyou..I hope so too. xx

  4. I have just read this out to Him Outdoors while he eats his healthy breakfast. His reaction 'it's a good job there are women about isn't it'.
    Your blog is the main one that has introduced us to one of the joys and surprises of blogging. We really care what happens to you and Mr A. We worry about you and find that we have been pondering your predicaments as we go about our day.
    If kind thoughts can help you through, life will surely improve. x

  5. Rosie: Oh what a lovely person you are..and how kind of you to care so much about us. Your words have really made my day...thankyou xxx

  6. Ayak, you've battled through so much that I'm sure you'll both get through this. I think your right -a bit of peace at home with you will give Mr A the chance to recover and get going again. Your blog is the one I always go to first - I feel like I know you and really care about you. Keep your chin up and keep blogging!

  7. Hi Rosemary and welcome. More lovely words of kindness and encouragement...thankyou xx

  8. It doesn't seem right that one person should get all this grief, does it? But then we all know that life doesn't seem at all fair, does it?
    It is good to get this out of your system and to blog how you feel and friends will support you through this (me included) because that is what friends do. Your blog is very uplifting, I think, because you have a very positive attitude and we can all learn by your good example.
    I do hope Mr Ayak comes through this OK and that you will find something better.
    It is tough time to be living in for everybody right now.
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

  9. I wonder what the next installment is going to be. It is always so horrid when change of this nature happens but it passes, quicker than you can imagine and life moves on. It has been coming for a while and probably a blessed relief in a way. Don't store up bitterness for what could or should, save your energy for what is to come xxxxx

  10. Maggie: It often seems that some people have more than their fair share of know this more than most...and your strength in adversity has always inspired me. Thankyou so much for your support and kind words xx

  11. Kelloggsville: Wise words and true...bitterness is wasted energy. Looking forward is the only way. Thankyou xx

  12. Ayak your blog is certainly not depressing, u tell it like it is, and like u said your blog is your outlet. Things will perk up I am sure once u get over this little hurdle, well this is what I have been telling myself this year, but it will something will come along that u r not expecting. Sending you hugs and stuff as ususal xx

  13. Bomb: Thankyou..I always look forward to your hugs. One of these days we'll get together in hobbits corner for a glass of wine or two!!

  14. First, I hope that you are feeling somewhat're going to need all your strength to help Mr. Ayak through this one.
    He must feel dreadful at having been deceived....and then to have Mehmet accuse him of not carrying out his part of the partnership! Well, words nearly fail!

    Lucky that Mehmet took clears Mr. Ayak of future responsibility so that he will not have that burden hanging over him when he starts something new.

    Your blog is not depressing...your blog is you in all the ups and downs of life...a strong, loving person.

  15. I'm sure Mr A will will be back up and doing very soon, he just needs some time to recover and regroup.

  16. Gosh, looks like I am too late to say any very original. Actually, I do have something to say.

    My mother was a dreamer and (generally speaking)an optimist about life events. No matter how awful a situation I would find myself, my mother would perk up and say, "You know.. this is probably the best thing that ever happened to you." I would stare back at her as if one of us had surely lost our minds. Then she would explain and it would sound something like, "by having this experience you have been able to learn so much, what to do and what not to do. Whom to trust and whom not to trust. This experience, whether you recognize it or not at this moment has allowed you to really grow."

    I would usually shrug and run off somewhere to lick my wounds and indulge in a lot of self-pity. But looking back, I can see she was probably right more often than not. The same is true for Mr. Ayak. There are things he has learned from this experience, a lot of it is unpleasant, I know, but all if it will be useful in his next big deal.

    But the most important thing he hopefully has learned is that you will support him in fair weather or foul. That's nothing to sneeze at.

  17. Fly: Reassuring words...thankyou..and yes I'm feeling much better now thanks xx

    Jan: Yes I think so x

    Nomad: I think your mother had a very sensible attitude to life. Thankyou xx

  18. Right you are Ayak, don't give up! Your day will come, yours and Mr. A's.

  19. gaelikaa...I hope so...thankyou xx


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