Sunday, 26 December 2010

Followers and Friendships

I was reading a post on another blog recently about Blog Followers, and the way in which they come and go. And judging by the comments on that particular blog, it would seem that sometimes people take it a bit too seriously.  In other words if someone stops following their blog, they see it is a personal snub.  I do recall the excitement I felt when I first started blogging, when all of a sudden people started to comment, then added themselves to my list, and even though I may have been disappointed in the early days when some disappeared, I tried not to take it personally. 

Of course I'm aware that the numbers of followers fluctuate from time to time.  I have a vague idea that the numbers of followers on my blog are around the 65 mark.  Sometimes people stop following, but then others arrive to take their place.  I've done the same thing myself.  Occasionally one realises that it's impossible to find the time to follow every blog one would like to, so some inevitably fall by the wayside. 

There are also other reasons for ceasing to follow certain blogs.   I do find myself losing interest in blogs that seem to be all about giveaways (I don't get this at all...maybe someone would explain)...and also those that have added ads.  Oh I don't mind a few ads here and there, but some bloggers are actually writing posts which are specifically aimed at advertising a particular product.  Of course this is just personal choice, but I prefer to read about peoples' lives and experiences, and the stories they tell, sometimes funny, sometimes sad...with the odd photo or video thrown in for good measure.   Does anyone actually click on the ads on blogs?  I'd be interested to know...I never have.

We eventually end up with a pretty loyal band of followers on our blogs.  Those who you know will comment on most of your posts, and whose opinions are so welcome and valued...and these become friendships too.

This topic also got me thinking about friendships, and in particular internet friendships.  They also come and go.  Much like real life friendships I guess.  Although I think I would prefer to call them acquaintanceships rather than friendships.  .

I have made what I consider to be some very good friends via the internet, and some of them I've had the pleasure of meeting in real life.  For example, Bombshellicious, who I met on my recent trip to England.  We get on so well and I know we will be friends for life. 

However, I recently lost all contact with someone I considered to be a good friend who I met through an internet forum about 3 years ago.  We had very regular contact, almost daily, when a couple of months ago the emails started to dry up.  I found myself writing to her and asking if she was ok, and was sorry to have not heard from her for a while, whilst wondering whether I had said anything to offend her.   I had a couple of responses, in which the reason she gave for not being in touch was that she was spending very little time on the internet.  I thought this was a pretty good reason, so left it for a while.  At the beginning of the month I emailed her response.   Then again just before Christmas to extend the seasons greetings.   And...nothing.   Which leaves me feeling that I must somehow have offended her.   I've asked outright if this is the case but I've had no explanation.   I know I should just let it go but I hate not feels like unfinished business.

Real friends last forever don't they?  Even if you lose touch with a real friend for a while, you know they are still there.  One of you makes contact and you just pick up where you left off.   But you are never left feeling that there are loose ends that need tying up or questions that need answers.

Well I hope you all had an enjoyable Christmas Day.  Our's was much like any other day here, except that I did cook a roast dinner and made a huge trifle.  I made Mr A pull a cracker and wear a silly hat for 10 minutes...but then we just switched off Christmas and got back to normal!

Incidentally I've put comment moderation back on my blog, because I've noticed a lot of blogs being spammed at the moment and it's only a matter of time before it happens here.


  1. This of course is the problem with e-mail contacts. I have friends who simply don't look at their e-mails for weeks on end and you just wonder what you've done. People move on and lead their lives. I wouldn't take it personal. Also there are only so many blogs you can follow whilst still having a life a way from the pc. You discover new ones and others inevitably fall by the wayside or at least don't get checked out as regularly. I have a half dozen that I will never miss a post on plus a couple dozen, when I have time and nothing else much to do.

  2. I agree that once a blog starts only giving away things and adding advertising I lose interest. I want to read about people's experiences - a voyueristic view into a life that is not mine but I find fascinating (like yours). I do giveaways but I'm very choosy about what I agree to give away or review - I like to reward my readers for their loyalty and give a little something. A friend is a friend for life, unfortunately, there are times you meet someone and get on beautifully but it hits a wall and then ends. It would be nice to know why if you don't already. It's like dating - fabulous in the beginning and then it runs out of steam. It happens. Don't beat yourself up about it - the issue is hers, not yours.
    Merry Christmas Ayak! And here's a to wonderful 2011.

  3. OH! I've had the very same experiences. Some internet friends have disappeared and some days they cross my mind and I have to wonder how they are getting along while others fade in and out of my life. A internet friend about 60 miles away remains a friend...sporadically she contacts me or I phone her. An old school friend who I've reconnected with this year just picked up our conversations where we left off 40 ys ago which I find fascinating. I don't clik on links to ads on blogs...maybe
    and definetly don't read blogs pointing me to products!
    I'm so happy to have made your acquaintance this past year. Love reading your posts and hope everything smooths out for you. I think you must be the most level human being I've met. I'm amazed at your and baking for example.
    Merry Merry and Happy Happy to you Linda!

  4. Like you, I have my regular round...most of them people talking about their lives and interests..and it has opened quite a few new worlds for me....made me think and question.

    I do look at others from time to time....I don't mind the ads, but the reviews turn me off while the pits are those who put on a face of 'I am just like you'...tired mother of kids, divorced mother of same, whatever the mask might be...and then you see that they are selling you something.

    Make up....
    So dishonest.

    No, I don't like untied ends, either when people lose touch but there isn't much I can do about it if there is no reply to the question
    'Have I done something to upset you?'

    Chrismas was quiet and pleasant...apart from a faraway discotheque playing Elvis Presley all afternoon. Pity the poor neighbours.
    Oddly enough, we had trifle too!

  5. Heiko: Yes I's often about having enough time really, and there are always blogs that you feel more drawn to.

    'Cross the Pond. Well of course we always like to know the reason why these things happen but I'll probably settle for never knowing.
    Have a Happy New Year xx

    Charlotte Ann: Thankyou for such kind words and I'm very happy to have met you too. xxx

    Fly: yes the dishonesty in some blogs isn't pleasant.
    Ooh Elvis Presley all afternoon? I don't think I'd have liked that! Glad you had a pleasant day...and trifle too!

  6. "Friends enhance your life... everyone else is just an acquaintance."

    I send you wishes for a happy, prosperous and peaceful 2011.

  7. How very true Kitty.

    And a Happy and Peaceful New Year to you too xx

  8. Hi Ayak,

    Excellent, thought provoking post which could lead to big discussions between bloggers.

    For myself, I have quite a few blogs that I will follow. The rest I read, when they send me a reminder ie, I have liked their Facebook page or follow them on Twitter. If they don't send reminders then I am more or less too busy to drop in all the time on their blog.

    I think it also depends on what criteria you are using to judge how successful your blog is. I judge my success by my monthly stats as search engine traffic is important for me. Other bloggers I know judge their success on the number of followers they have, so they would take offence when someone drops off.

    Other bloggers rely on their blog for their main source of income so when followers drop off, they see the potential for their earnings to drop.

    I think it all depends on whether you are blogging for business or personal reasons and also what criteria you are using to judge if your blog is successful.

  9. Hi Natalie and welcome!

    Yes you are right of course. It depends on the type of blog. I recognise that it is a source of income for some, and often part of a business. I guess these are the ones I would probably avoid, because I blog simply for my own pleasure, and tend to gravitate towards those bloggers who do the same. Although I do read a couple of blogs occsionally that are not personal ones, simply because they may be covering a topic of interest to me.

    Successful blogging for me is actually finding something to write about some days when I wake up with my mind completely blank!

    Happy New Year to you xx

  10. I loved meeting up with you Linda and yeh we will be friends for life for deffo. I too dont like the ads on blogs, I had them on mine for a while but I found I had to stop it as I cant promote something which I dont believe in. xx

  11. Bomb: I think this is the problem with Adsense as I see i,t. The ads appear if a word or reference appears in a blog post, and sometimes they can be quite inappropriate, and then of course you have no control over it.

    Yes definitely friends for life xxx

  12. I can't imagine why no one wants me to promote their products ...

  13. auntiegwen: Probably for the same reasons they wouldn't want me to either :-))


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