Monday, 30 May 2011

Maybe tomorrow will be better?

I'm being as pleasant as possible to the in-laws. I'm offering tea and coffee, asking if they would like me to get them some food...the reply is always no thankyou.   As they did last time they were here they are keeping their food in the car, presumably in a cool box.

The small gas bottle that I had found in the old house last week, which belonged to FIL, ran out yesterday. It's the only thing I have to cook on apart from the microwave.  FIL knows I need a new large gas bottle.  He knows I can't possibly get this without transport. He has a car, but he doesn't offer to get one.  So I mentioned that the small one had run out but that I would replace it in the morning, but in the meantime they would have to use the microwave to heat water if they wanted to make tea.  So they did...they don't accept my offers of hot drinks...but they make their own.  FIL said he would get another small gas bottle in the morning.

They set off with it this morning and of course have not brought it back, no doubt left in the car with their other possessions.  Not that I could have used it today as MIL had taken most of my pots and pans with her to cook their food down on the land.  She doesn't ask...she just takes.  But she did ask if I had any empty glass jars.  I do collect them to make jam.  I have quite a few that I bought, but also those that contained other things that I re-use.  Of course I said yes, thinking that she needed one or two.  But she has taken about a dozen...and all of the best ones.   And then had the cheek to ask me if they were clean!

I've been in the bedroom most of today as it's the coolest room.  It's been hot and sticky and we've had storms again. Mostly thunder and lightening but hardly any rain.  A blessing...because it doesn't stop MIL and FIL working on the land all day which keeps them out of my hair.  I'm also restricted to the bedroom if I want to use my laptop at the moment because I lost my wireless connection this weekend and am having to plug in a USB cable and the modem is there. I spent half an hour on the phone to TTNet this morning trying to get reconnected.  It didn't work and I was informed that my modem needed re-setting so I would have to speak to their technical department.  I was transferred but no-one spoke English and I really cannot do technical Turkish...technical English is bad enough!

So it will have to wait till Mr A's return...which should be tomorrow.  He toughened up and confronted his boss today and was paid.  I can't get too excited about this as there will be very little money left.  He has his hotel and laundry bills to pay and one or two other things, and he is getting a different motorbike.  The existing one has spent most of the time in a workshop being's still useless.  Mr A is pretty gullible when it comes to buying wouldn't believe the amount of rubbish he's been conned into buying over the years.  He got his money back from the person who sold him the bike.  The seller is no doubt happy because it's had loads of repairs done at considerable expense to Mr A.   So the refund, plus a large chunk of Mr A's salary will pay for the "new" motorbike.

There's no point in telling him we should wait until we can really afford it because he has to have a vehicle to get home, to find a job and to travel to work each day..and he will do that as soon as he arrives home.

The in-laws arrived home earlier this evening whilst I was on the laptop in the bedroom.  They must have just dropped their tools and set off out again, because when I popped out to say hello they'd gone.   No sign of the small gas bottle or my pots and pans.   No doubt they're going out for a meal while I'm struggling to cook something in the microwave. 

Naturally when Mr A arrives tomorrow they will be charming to me.  Mr A will wonder why I'm not a picture of smiley happiness when they are such good company.

So...maybe tomorrow will be better...but I have a feeling it may be a lot worse.


  1. That is a game to them, isn't it? Making you wait.
    I would be blowing my top but I realise that it wouldn't do anyone any good long term.
    Hope you get enough money and help to get the gas and all that you need.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  2. Maggie: I tend to seethe inwardly but eventually I realise that doesn't do any good. Life's too short!

  3. I truly don't know how you cope without blowing your top, Ayak. Such deliberately unreasonable behaviour would make me do far more than seethe, I'm afraid, but as you say, it probably wouldn't make any difference to them. Fingers crossed that things improve when Mr A gets home.

  4. Perpetua: I guess I tolerate it because I'm pretty sure that most of it is a deliberate make me lose I won't let them have the satisfaction. So I'm still being pleasant and smiling sweetly :-)))

  5. I can't understand for the life of me what keeps you there.

  6. Anonymous: One I love my husband, I love this beautiful country, I love the people (with one or two exceptions!). I know I write about the problems in this blog and it can often appear negative, but I do this because this is the reality of life wherever you live..and for me, writing it down is very therapeutic and help me to deal with problems.
    But there are so many positive aspects...and they keep me here!

  7. How frustrating for you and sad that your parents in law only want to make things difficult for you, just shows how different things can be within a family situation, this does not represent what we see outwardly of Turkish people.

    What do they do on that land that takes whole days but only required on their visits, do they have a secret gold mine?

    Hope today is a better day.

  8. Anonymous: They are absolutely NOT repesentative of Turkish families. They are the exception.

    Haha...a goldmine? I wish..I'd be down there digging myself! They have fruit and nut trees and grapevines. When they're not here a neighbour next to the land looks after it, and then they visit occasionally to clear weeds and prune the's a retirement hobby.

  9. I did write a reply Ayak but changed my mind about putting it down in public hahahahahaha. Ill talk to you in person about it instead. I teally hope things improve today sending much love and hugs xx

  10. I am writing to you too, I loathe game players! xxxx

  11. I see that back with FIL....plays his game.
    She should be ashamed of herself, treating another woman like that, but shame doesn't seem to come into it.
    Ask for your jars back, or they'll be off to Ankara!
    And you'd better put a trace on your pots and pans!

    Hope they go soon.

  12. Sending you a hug and an escape for a cup of coffee and a Cadbury's creme egg - you could have my last one if only I had any...............

  13. Thanks Bomb xxx

    Karen: Me too...and thanks for the emails xxxx

    Fly: Oh yes here's hoping they won't be here for too long!

    Rosie: Thankyou...its the thought that counts xx

  14. Ayak, I don't know how you do it. I'm sending positive vibes your way hoping something good and big happens for you soon. As for the parents-in-law - well, there are no words for cruelty such as theirs.

  15. 'Cross the Pond: I think I got the positive vibes you sent...along with those from everyone else and I feel certain things will improve! Thanks x


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