Tuesday, 31 May 2011


Jimi was a month old on Sunday.  Isn't he gorgeous?  There are some things in life that make your heart sing...and my lovely grandsons are just two of them.


The outlaws set off to Bodrum for the day early this morning, to meet up with old friends for breakfast and lunch.  Pity they didn't think to leave the small gas bottle behind and the pots and pans, so that I might have been able to cook something.

When they arrived home this evening, FIL said he had meant to bring the small gas bottle back to the house to use last night, and again today but he had forgotten.....yeh right!   And just as he was saying this Mr A arrived home on his motorbike, with his large suitcase and a large gas bottle (how he managed it I don't know).  So I said to FIL "you don't need to worry now, I have gas so now I can cook...oh and by the way I'll want my pots and pans back in the morning."

You see...I'm listening to advice from good friends and I'm being more assertive.  And it feels good.  

I brought some packets of seeds back from England to plant in the garden, and they were sitting on the windowsill in the kitchen.  FIL picked them up and asked what they were.  I told him.  He explained to MIL.  She asked if she could have them to plant in her parents garden in Sivas.  I would normally have just handed them over...but I just smiled sweetly and said "Unfortunately no, I brought them to plant in our garden".  She did look a bit shocked...this assertiveness is working!  I'm taking back some control...and its about time!

I spent about 10 minutes out on the balcony with Mr A and the in-laws, but as I appeared to be talking to myself most of the time, I decided I didn't want to be ignored any longer, so I excused myself, saying that I had important things to do on my laptop, so I'll leave you all to catch up.   I have decided that if I'm not being included in conversation, then why waste my time when I could be doing something more enjoyable.

So here I am...writing this post...actually feeling quite happy for a change.

So today was better than yesterday after all!


  1. Yeah, you go, girl!!! Assertiveness sounds like it's working already, Ayak. Who knows, if you're assertive enough and simply don't allow the outlaws to bully you, they may decide not to visit so much in the future.

  2. Fingers crossed Perpetua!

  3. Bravo! Don't let them walk all over you. BUT expect to be cast as bad person- because it is the usual way- but carry on with this and people will learn to take a step back.
    It will do you good not to be a victim. Good on you. Think of it this way, if it blows up in your face (and I am pretty sure it will NOT!) then, at the very least, you can say you stood up for yourself. And that much is worth it to you for your own self-respect.

  4. Brilliant assertiveness! Next time, lock the pans up in a cupboard somewhere. They had no business to take them in the first place without asking.

    Jimmi is a really appealing baby and I would love to cuddle him!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  5. Good for you, Ayak! It feels good to stand up for yourself, doesn't it? ;)

  6. Well done you. Smile sweetly and say no. Brilliant. We're all behind you Ayak :-)

  7. Good! Find where the power is, and take it away :-) Makes you feel loads better. Hugs K xxx

  8. Good for you!

    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind".
    - Dr. Seuss

  9. Well done girl, keep it up!!!!

  10. Thankyou all so much for you comments and for putting up with my moaning for the past few days! It means an awful lot to me to know that I have so much support and thıs has really helped me to be more assertive and stay in control.

    They are going tomorrow....yay!!

  11. have you got your pans back?lol

  12. I can't believe that woman actually asked you for the seeds! "what a cow! Well done on being firm and politely asserting yourself! She will have more respect for you now. Well done to Mr.A also for standing up for himself and getting his wages. You're an inspiring couple! . I'm going to get more brazen myself and do a bit of speaking up too...thanks a mil for your blog. We all have hurdles in life and sometimes it's difficult to know what road to take and what lies ahead.

  13. Jimi is absolutely beautiful xx

  14. Maz: Yes I got the pans back!

    Noreen: I had assertiveness training years ago but I think I had forgotten how to do it! Once you start it's just like riding a bike again.

    Bomb: Thankyou...he is xx


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