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Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Here we go again....

Blogger is preventing me from commenting on blogs again.  It's been difficult  trying to catch up with everyone's blogs during our daily powercuts.  I'm managing to read them, and just when I'm up early enough  to be able to comment before I lose connection, I find I can't.   I have just typed out comments on three blogs, only to lose them completely.  So frustrating! 

It's only Blogger of course.  Others like Wordpress are no problem at all.  I will have to consider changing if this goes on for much longer.

I'm getting into a different routine now during the day...adapting to life without electricity...and most days without water too.  It's given me the chance to do a bit of sorting out.  Tidying wardrobes and cupboards, sorting out paperwork...and reading.  The internet seems to take up too much of my time when I'm at home and I haven't been reading as much as I normally would.  At the moment it's easy to get through a book a day.

Some days I'm going over to the hotel to see Mr A.  Although he is so busy chatting to customers that I don't really get to spend any time with him.  He has turned into Mr Grumpy.  He's like a bear with a sore head.  I think it's mostly due to stress.  Working for commission only and no salary creates so much pressure.  He has to constantly be Mr Happy to all the customers, even when he can't stand them, and he is exhausted.  Working 16 hour days, 7 days a week, without breaks is taking it's toll.   So on the rare occasions when we find time to attempt a conversation he is snappy and takes out all his frustrations on me.  I should just let it go over my head but I don't.  I make it worse by snapping back.  As a result we both end up feeling hurt and unhappy.  If he finds time to bring me back home, we are both so wound up that we don't even speak.  He then has to rush back to work.  He hasn't been able to spend a night at home in weeks. 

Yesterday was particularly bad and left me feeling wretched.  I vowed I would keep my distance...stay out of his way...until the season is finished.

When power returned yesterday, I checked my email box.  I read my horoscope.  It talked about one particular relationship being tricky at the moment, and about feeling like you want to run away but you know you can't.   It quoted the old adage "you always hurt the one you love..."  but that the one doing the hurting is also hurting just as much.  I phoned Mr Grumpy and read it out to him.   We both agreed that it was so true and he admitted that he feels hurt too. We apologised to each other, and promised to try not to let all this get out of hand.

I don't exactly have Mr Happy back.  That won't happen till the end of the season.  But I did sleep better last night knowing that I had seen a glimpse of the real Mr A beneath the Mr Grumpy exterior.  It will have to do for now!

11 comments:

  1. I feel for you. I know how miserable it can be when your other half is miserable and instead of sharing takes it out on you. However rational you try to be about stress and whatever it is always hurtful. Take a big hug from me! And remember one day you will look back and laugh about what seemed horrible today.

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  2. I am really sad for you and it must be very lonely. You were the one who gave up everything to follow Mr A to a different land. However, he is in a terrible position and is doing his best to provide for you.
    A very difficult situation for you both.
    The end of the season will come and I know you will hang on, because you are really good at that.
    The electric cuts are a real nuisance. That will pass too.
    Thinking of you.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  3. Glad you managed to get a better nights sleep ... it will be all right in the end you both will get through it xx

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  4. I'm tempted to go to Wordpress...but it frightens me. It uses words I don't even begin to understand.

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  5. Nice to meet you, Ayak. It's hard keeping your cool when the situation you're facing is stressful and I know I'd be stressed to the gills if I were keeping your hubby's hours.

    Good that you reached out though. It helps make things go smoother and keeps both parties happy.

    Hope your electrical and water woes get sorted out long-term.

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  6. As you might remember,I too had my share of problems with Blogger. Mostly stuck in a login loop. I finally resolved the problem by deleting my cookies (I don't know how they got there because I haven't made cookies in years!:)) Sometimes cookies can appear on your PC automatically and they can change your settings. Also another problem could be your protective virus-malware settings. A case of auto-immune disorder, as a medical metaphor.

    Yesterday my world turned mean when a transparent gray bar suddenly appeared on my screen whenever I turned my PC on. It was impossible to ignore since it took up about a fourth of the display. I thought, "oh dear god, I can't afford a new laptop!" The blues quickly set in and I went through that familiar cycle of feeling sorry for myself and thinking in useless big-picture ways "this is typical. Everything in my life is like this, blah blah." But then I stumbled upon a site that gave me fairly ridiculous advice, like close the lid, open it and then twist the screen and then tap on the back. I was like, you've GOT to be kidding. Much to my surprise, it worked!! (Now that I wrote this story, I am waiting for it to come back.)

    Anyway, about Mr. A, it is unrecognized fact that being nice to be who don't appreciate it- generally the case in customer service or dealing with the public- often tends to make normal people unbearable. That's one reason why some people should never go into that particular field. It just takes on asshole who thinks they have gone on vacation to become royalty in Turkey, shouting at you about something you have no control over to spoil your entire day.

    This is the peak of the season and it could be happening to him several times a day. When people don't even bother to say "thank you" or "please" or put their orders into question form just for the sake of courtesy, then you can imagine how much dread goes with a job like that. I would be throwing things at my guests in a matter of minutes and have to be carted off my the jandarmes.

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  7. Thanks all for your comments and please forgive me for not responding individually...no internet connection at home so have limited time on hotel internet at the moment.

    Welcome JL Campbell xx

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  8. Ayak, life must be so stressful and exhausting for both of you at the moment, what with the heat, pressure of work, power and water cuts, etc, that it's hardly surprising if tempers fray and you snap at each other. In the same circumstances I'd probably become almost murderous....

    I do hope things ease off and get back to some kind of normal be fore too long.

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  9. Thanks Perpetua...thankyou everyone xx

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  10. i can understand what kind of an exhausting job your husband has. about 15 years ago, we were in Fethiye trying a semi-vacation and semi-business adventure and got bankrupted. so i tried to find a job to survive and all the jobs i could find were similar jobs like your husband has now. i had to find new customers for a bar. it was really very frustrating so i ended up in a tea house, delivering tea to people, which was infinitely easier.

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