Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Men and decisions

I'm sure Mr A is no different to most men as far as making decisions is concerned.

We go through a familiar process.  He suggests something and asks for my opinion.  I disagree and suggest something better.  He disagrees.  We have words.   He then tells me he will do what he wants.  I suggest (not always politely) that it's pointless asking my opinion if he's going to do what he wants anyway.  We have more words.  He then thinks about what he's going to do and eventually does what I have suggested...only he makes out it was his idea all along.

The unfortunate thing about this process is that it often takes days to resolve and for him to finally make a decision.  It's such a waste of time and energy and I am annoyed with myself for not being able to deal with it more efficiently.  Any ideas please?

He finished rebuilding the perimeter wall last week.  He is now working on a wall to replace the fence that was demolished by the tractor that was delivering the sand.  It's looking good.

He also thought it a good idea to replace the chicken wire that sections off the front of the garden with something more permanent.  He asked my opinion three days ago.  He suggested building another wall.  The problem is that we have almost run out of stone and he would have to go up the steep hill at the back of the house to hack out some more.  That in itself will be very hard work and time-consuming, not to mention pretty treacherous trying to get it down the hill.  I suggested that as we still have a lot of wood that he use that to build a fence.  He disagreed.  

He then suggested a metal fence.  I actually agreed that it would look quite good but I thought it would be too expensive.   Of course he disagreed so I had to prove the point by getting him to ring the metal suppliers to ask prices.  It's very cheap...he said.  I asked him to measure up the area to be fenced off and I did some calculations.  It wasn't cheap at was damned expensive.

All these suggestions/disagreements/having words....has taken three days.  

This afternoon he informs me that HE has decided to build a wooden fence.

I give up!


  1. Poor Ayak! I was simultaneously smiling and sympathising as I read this. It's called Man Management and some are better at it than others. At least you'll be getting the fence, even if you don't get the credit for the idea.

  2. It's funny Perpetua. Writing about it and reading it back makes me smile too! Man management...hmm..I think that's a nicer term for manipulation? I'm never been much good at that xx

  3. Men don't make decisions...they jump to conclusions.

  4. That's it Fly! Nail on the head!

  5. Oh my. I wish I had some advice, but my husband is exactly the same! lol Quite frustrating, isn't it? :)


  6. hehehehehe the post made me smile ... men eh lol xx

  7. Ayak..... that is so typically male. I come across it all the time.
    Its the Alfa ego. Nothing much you can do unless you tell him the opposite of what you think, and see whether he would still do the same.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  8. Maggie that thought has crossed my mind but I worry that if I do that it might just be the one time he agrees with me!

  9. Bomb: I just knew you would laugh :-)

  10. Mine is the same..... can't live with them and you can't live without them.

  11. Hallo again Ayak! I have been quiet for some time. My job is consuming most of my energy during the semesters. (I´m a music teacher, I don´t remember if I´ve mentioned.) But I´m following your blog. An oasis in my everyday.You are really spot on describing these annoying conflicts between men and women in this blog post. I couldn´t help laughing while reading and comparing with my own experiences. You write about mr Ayak that:"He then tell me he will do what he wants." When we come to that point in the discussion, my husband and I, he tells me nobody will do anything at all in this house. :) "The problem is that we have almost run out of stone and he would have to go up the steep hill at the back of the house to hack out some more." What is it with men? Can´t they see these things beforehand? It could have been my husband coming up with such an idea.
    Do I have any solutions? I´m laughing. No, I don´t have any solutions.What is it with these idiotic patterns. We get stuck. And I can even see it while it´s happening: "Oops, here we go again." Well, thank you for putting the problem into words. Have a nice weekend!/Selda

  12. Hi Selda. Nice to see you again. The problem as I see it is that they don't seem to plan any job before undertaking it. They just go head-first into it. An example of this is that when Mr A undertakes a task, he fails to gather together the tools that he needs first. There is then an awful lot of stopping and starting while he searches for what he needs. If he doesn't have it he makes a trip into Milas to get it. Then repeats the performance the next time there is something missing. Infuriating!
    Have a good weekend too x

  13. I thought I'd commented on this - such a great post, and so true :-)

  14. Deniz it certainly does seem to be true!
    (I searched to see if you had commented and perhaps it had gone un-moderated..but nothing...maybe it got lost in the Blogger "black hole" as I call it...have lost a few comments myself this way!


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