Friday, 11 May 2012
Depression and Dreams
Something I have noticed during these bouts is how strange and vivid my dreams are. I put this down to the fact that, as I understand it, dreaming happens when you are not in a deep sleep, and because I find sleep difficult at such times, I nap when I feel like it. It's then that I dream the most.
I napped this morning, as a result of being wide awake at around 3am. In my dream, my blogging friend, Fly in the Web, (who I have never met), pulled up outside my house in her car. This of course is highly unlikely as she lives in Costa Rica. She produced some bedding plants for me from the boot, and I invited her in for a coffee.
This is when my dream gets frustrating. I send Fly out to sit in the garden while I make coffee. My house suddenly changes into one I don't recognise. I can't find the coffee, and after searching and finding it, I can't get the coffee machine to work. When I do, I make a complete mess of it. All this is taking so much time to do. There are also a lot of people wandering about in this strange house. I don't know any of them.
When I eventually produce coffee and take it out into the garden, there is a table but no chairs, and Fly isn't there. She is in fact at the bottom of the garden, taking part in a yoga group! I told you this dream was strange! Finally we both go into the house. I tell all the strangers to leave and Fly and I sit down to chat. Then I woke up.
I have two recurring dreams. One where I am trying to get to a certain place and there are just so many obstacles in my path that it's impossible to get there. I've heard others talk about this kind of dream. I think it's a fairly common one.
One that is particularly disturbing for me, is when I dream about my son, who has been estranged from me since I moved to Turkey almost 14 years ago. In my dreams everything is OK. We have normal contact, and he comes to visit me here. This dream is so real, so believable, that when I wake up, for a moment I actually think it's true. It makes me incredibly sad to later realise that it's not.
I know there are books and probably websites that analyse dreams, but I've never been tempted to look at them. I'm not sure I really want to know what they mean.