Thursday, 28 June 2012
Discovering the truth and rebuilding trust.
I did this recently with what was happening to Beki. I blamed Mehmet the vet, I blamed Mr A, the Kusadasi vet, the Aydin vets. In some respects, they were each a little to blame for what was going on. Together these Turkish men took away any control this foreign, non-muslim woman thought she had.
But such is the way of things in this culture.
I spoke badly about Mehmet the vet. I realise now that I should have stuck with my first instincts about him, that he is a good vet and he does care a great deal for animals. I decided to phone him on Tuesday and spent 45 minutes on the phone. I actually managed to discover the truth. After he performed Beki's hysterectomy, Mr A took over all communication with him. Mehmet assumed that Mr A was discussing everything with me. He wasn't. Mehmet had told him immediately post-op that Beki's chances were not good. I didn't know this. Mr A had told him to keep trying anything to save her. He did.
When Mehmet came to the house two weeks ago and took Beki into his clinic, it was because Mr A had asked him to keep her there for as long as it took to make her well. He knew he was fighting a lost cause but he just did as he was told. He did his best.
I told Mehmet I was angry about the Sunday that Mr A went to collect Beki, only to find her outside without water in searing heat. Mehmet was also angry about this and very apologetic. He had been operating all day in another clinic and had left specific instructions for Beki's care with a boy who works for him. This was ignored. Mehmet has sacked the boy for his negligence.
Mehmet thought Mr A was only taking Beki to the Kusadasi vet for a second opinion. When he discovered that the vet was to operate on Beki the following day, he phoned and advised against it because of her weakened state. The Kusadasi vet went ahead. The following day she was taken to the Aydin vet hospital for more tests which were unnecessary and unfair on Beki.
I asked the Kusadasi vet to euthanise Beki. He refused. Mr A agreed with him. Later that day Mr A finally agreed with me, and asked Mehmet to drive from Milas to do it. Mehmet agreed, but just as he was about to leave to make the 2 hour journey, Mr A phoned to put him off, because they (he and the Kusadasi vet) had decided to try further treatment.
In my conversation with Mehmet on the phone this week I told him that Beki was euthanised on Friday. He asked who had carried it out and when I replied that it was the Kusadasi vet, who originally refused, but finally gave in because Beki was screaming, Mehmet was horrified.
OK. I'm going over all this again because I need to get things clear in my mind. I now understand that Mehmet was very much on my side, but because Mr A took over, Mehmet assumed I was being kept informed by Mr A and that I agreed with him.
I have a problem now with Poppy. It's something that has happened a couple of times since she was spayed last October. She has sleep incontinence. It's happened more in the past couple of weeks, and being reluctant to have anything to do with vets here, I searched the internet for solutions. It's quite common in bitches who have been spayed but it can be managed.
I mentioned the problem to Mehmet, and he actually came up with the same solutions that I found on the internet, so at least he knows what he's talking about. He has done some more research today. He phoned me to say that I could collect a prescription for Poppy which I have done and she is on medication for two weeks to see if it helps. If not we will try something else. I collect all medications from one particular eczane (chemist) in Milas these days. The chemist there is excellent. He speaks English, and he questions everything before dishing out drugs. In fact he phoned Mehmet whilst I was there to discuss the medication being prescribed, and to make sure the dosage was correct.
I haven't discussed mine and Mehmet's conversation with Mr A, and I have no intention of doing so. There's no point in recriminations. Mr A did what he thought was best for all the right reasons, and I'm sure he knows now that he was wrong and I was right. I don't see any point in rubbing his nose in it.
But from now on I will take full responsibility and make all decisions concerning Poppy's health. I will use Mehmet, because I feel he can be trusted. He is a good vet and the only problem he has is that he has taken on far too much work, and clearly he needs to address this. I told him this is what I felt. He said he appreciated my honesty and he agrees he has to do something about it. I have also offered to pop in from time to time and help on a voluntary basis, even if only to tidy up and water and feed his patients.
Now that the dust has settled and I've calmed down, I can't go on being bitter and angry. It's time to move on and start to re-build trust.