Thursday, 3 January 2013

Sadness

I have talked about my lovely neighbour Dursune and how well she cares for her animals.  They are her life and her reason for living each day.

When I arrived home from my trip to England on Sunday, Mr A told me that Dursune was selling her cows.   Her health is not so good, and her family have been trying to get her to slow down for some time now.   She has been so reluctant to give up on her daily routine, but both Mr A and I have noticed that it's a struggle for her.

The cows left on Monday and I hadn't seen Dursune in three days.  Mr A checked in on her yesterday, and she really didn't want to talk, other than to say that she felt that she would die if she didn't have her cows to look after.

She's getting older.  We all are.  In fact I don't think Dursune is much older than me, but she has had a harder life than I have and hasn't aged well.  If I was 20 years younger and didn't have my own health problems, I would have encouraged her to keep the cows and I would help with them.

This morning I was up early.  There was a stray dog outside the gate, scavenging for food.   I came out to feed him but he ran away.  Poor dogs are always so terrified of people until they  realise you mean no harm.  I walked down the lane looking for him with a bowl of food, but ended up leaving it on the ground in the hope that he would return.

I then saw Dursune walking towards me.  She looked so sad and dejected that it broke my heart.  She started to tell me about her cows and I told her I knew.  The tears welled up in her eyes and I just wrapped my arms around her and we both cried.  I asked her to come to the house for a coffee, but she just wanted to walk on her own.

There are no words of consolation for such sadness.

25 comments:

  1. The cows were her friends. She will need you & Mr A now, more than ever. She's very fortunate to have friendly neighbours like you and Mr A.

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    1. Kota Kinabalu Travel: Welcome to my blog. Yes they were indeed her friends as well as her livelihood. Mr A and I will always be there for her, and Mr A will continue to do little jobs for her that she can't manage.

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  2. It's so sad isn't it? Everyone needs something to live for xxx

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    2. They do indeed auntiegwen. It really hits home how fragile life can be.

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  3. Poor Dursune. I hope she gets through her pain and finds comfort in the friendship and kindness you offer her. Axxx

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  4. Poor soul....a pity her family could not find a way to help her out so that she could keep them.
    They're never 'just animals' are they?

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    1. No, they're never just animals Fly. It's a difficult situation. Her family don't live close by and they do visit as often as they can, and when they're here they stay for as long as possible. They work hard to do as much as they can for her. But she is very stubborn. She can be very bossy and critical of them and they put up with a lot from her. She can be difficult to deal with. Maybe that's why I'm so fond of her. The fact that she always tries to be independent. Mr A and I have been trying for ages to get her to the hospital for a thorough check-up but she will have none of it.

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  5. That is such a shame, Ayak. She's pining as we all do when we lose beloved companions and I'm glad she has you and Mr A as neighbours. It's a great pity she couldn't have kept just one of them to give her companionship and something to care for.

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    1. It is a kind of bereavement isn't it Perpetua? It will take her a while to adjust I'm sure.

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  6. It is very hard when people have to give up on their lives and livelihood.

    I hope she will have that thorough check up.

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    1. omentide, we are constantly offering to take her to the hospital, but she refuses. One day hopefully she'll back down.

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  7. Aww. I don't know what to say. Hugs to both of you.

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  8. This is so very, very sad....poor Dursane. They were not just her animals to her. Too bad and a pity that the family can't find a way for her to keep her lil' animals....maybe someone come out to help her.
    I just hope that she doesn't go more down hill that now her animals are gone. I wish her the best and I hope she can live through this ordeal...getting on in your age is never easy in life.
    Wish I was there to give Dursune a hug....take care.

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    1. Her family do as much as they can Erica, and this village is full of elderly women who do their best to cope. I hope very much that she will get over this

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  9. Poor woman! Will say a prayer for her ! Reminds me of a story that my husband told me of a colleague who retired. He has no purpose now and just comes to the office to hang out because he does not know what else to do!

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    1. That's often the case when people retire Kelleyn. Unless they already have active hobbies before retirement, there seems very little purpose to their lives. Very sad.

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  10. HOw sad. I dont suppose any compromise was possible. I would have no idea whether looking after one cow would be easier or even possible....or maybe something else. Does she have other animals ? You and Mr A are the perfect neighbours for her, and I hope you are able to help her through this. Jx

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    1. Janice I think having one cow is just as difficult for her as several to be honest. She still has her donkey and chickens, so at least this is something to keep her occupied.

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  11. What a shame. Hope she doesn't go downhill . Does she still have her donkey? Could she look after a goat - she would still have something to milk every day.

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    1. She still has the donkey and the chickens BtoB. She used to have goats, but I don't know if you recall how little space she has in her yard? The goats were just to energetic and needed more space, so they went about 18 months ago. I think the milking was one of the most difficult tasks for her, along with mucking out the cowshed. Backbreaking work when you are suffering lots of aches and pains.

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  12. That is really sad. It would break my heart to give up my rabbits.
    You are a very compassionate person.
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

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