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Sunday, 14 April 2013

Is it 14 years?

It's our wedding anniversary today.  We are confused though.  We have worked out the dates and know that we got married in 1999...so that's 14 years.  However our marriage book gives the date as 2000, making it 13 years.  We are sure it's a mistake on the book.  It's not surprising to find such mistakes on official documents here, but it doesn't matter a great deal.

We hardly ever spend our anniversary together.  Mr A is usually working away somewhere, or I am on a trip to England.  It looked as if it would be the same today.  Mr A went over to Kusadasi yesterday for two days work at the carpet shop, so wouldn't have been due back until late tonight.

He's had a few days work there over the past couple of months, on a commission only basis.  They also offered him a permanent job to start on 1st May.   He has sold carpets.  Not a huge amount, but it all helps.  He should have been paid weeks ago, but as often happens here, the boss says "I have no money, you'll have to wait".

It has cost us money for him to keep going there, including the extra expense when he had his motorbike accident the last time he was there, and we had to find more money to replace the wrecked bike with a new one.  So we are not best pleased.

The boss told him last week that he would pay him this weekend.   He didn't.  So Mr A refused to stay and work today and came home last night.  Whether he will get what is owed to him remains to be seen, but I won't hold my breath.  This happens over and over again and it sickens me.  He has since phoned the boss and told him he will not be working for him this year.  What's the point?  There is no guarantee he will be paid his salary.

Today is very warm and sunny, so we decided to just spend the day relaxing together under the gazebo.  But I needed food shopping so we went into Milas first.  When we came out, loaded stuff under the seat of the motorbike, bags on the handles, and me holding on to more bags, the bloody bike wouldn't start.  

Mr A set off to the industrial estate on foot to find someone to help, while I sat outside the supermarket, hoping desperately that all the perishable food wouldn't go off before I could get it home.

He returned 20 minutes later.  All the workshops were shut, as it's Sunday.  He phoned a friend who lives in Milas who has a truck, and he kindly came out about half an hour later to rescue us.  He firstly drove Mr A to a mechanic he knows, left him there, and drove me home with all my shopping.  What a kind friend.

After sniffing the meat and other fresh produce, and establishing that it was still OK, I loaded up the fridge and started making dinner.

Mr A arrived home an hour or so later with a huge fresh fruit gateau from the pastane and a bottle of
wine.  So at last we sat down to celebrate our years of marriage..however many they may be.

As far as jobs are concerned, Mr A has another option.  Our friend Suleyman has rented the hamam in the Gumbet hotel where Mr A worked the year before last, and has asked him to come and work there.  .  He will stay in personnel accommodation to save on petrol costs, but will come home every night when I'm in England to look after the dogs.  It's not ideal, because it's commission only again.  The season is shorter than Kusadasi, and Suleyman isn't offering much in the way of commission...but anything is better than nothing.

Unfortunately, he has to go today and settle in as the first guests arrive tomorrow morning, so our day together has been cut short.

Not an ideal day, but at least we spent some of it together...and  the sun is shining!



23 comments:

  1. How sickening that bosses refuse to pay....on damn fool excuses; and how lucky that a network of friends always pulls through.
    I do wish luck would turn up for you...and what a pity you don't live in tourist land...in a way...as you would make a super property management team.
    Complete with guard dogs!

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    1. We are so used to this Helen, as you know. It doesn't get any easier though. We have already asked FIL if we could sell the house and move into or at least nearer the tourist areas, but you can guess what his answer was.

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  2. The cake and the gazebo look lovely. What a shame that the day had to be cut short, and it started with the bike breakdown. I suppose one way of look at it is that if those things had happened and the skies were grey and it was cold, it would seem worse.Jx

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    1. Absolutely Janice. Things don't seem half as bad when the sun is shining.

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  3. I really hope this job works out for him...

    And that the bike is running again.

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    1. Thanks omentide. The bike is running ok at the moment (touch wood).

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  4. A very happy 13th or 14th anniversary to you both, Ayak and Mr A. The cake looks delicious - hope you're not tempted to eat it all up now you're on your own again. I would be!
    I have my fingers crossed that someone pays what's due to Mr A and soon and that this new job proves profitable.
    Axxx

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    1. We live in hope Annie. The cake is delicious. We've shared some with Dursune and I'll give some to Mehmet when he's passing, otherwise the temptation to scoff the lot myself would be too great!

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  5. Happy anniversary to you both. What does it matter if it is 13 or 14 years? To stick together among all the difficulties you had to manage is fantastic and rare. We will soon celebrate 25 years but we never had challenges comparable to yours - although come to think of it - our daughters behave like Megan and Blondie most of the time... :)

    Great cake, great gazebo, great weather. I lived quite some time early in my life in similar circumstances to be able to say that your life is at least more intensive than mine nowadays.

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    1. I think it's important to stick with it through the bad times as well as the good Johanna. It makes or breaks a relationship. Well done on your 25 years.

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  6. Happy Anniversary to both of you, despite the problems, Ayak - the Better Half and I have just celebrated our 14th last month (we too were married in 1999 - late in life , having both been married before. BH is now 80 and I'm coming up for 75!!)
    Do hope that a real, paid job comes along for Mr A soon - it must be awful to be living on a knife edge all the time, and it must be so hard for him. Is FIL a control-freak as far as Mr A is concerned - or is it just the Turkish way? Very frustrating, whatever.

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    1. You're never too old to find a good marriage Helva. Congratulations on your 14th.

      FIL is a control freak as far as everyone in the family is concerned. I wouldn't say it is a particularly Turkish trait...seems we're just unlucky!

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  7. Happy Anniversary to you both!! and happy you had to time together on your day (no matter what the year)! many things seem iffy in Turkey (such as jobs) but the kindness of some neighbors and friends is worthy of high praise...it appears they drop everything and come to you and your husband's assistance. reminds me of the folks where I lived as a child!

    the fresh fruit gateau coupled with a bottle of wine sounds marvelous...bravo to your husband!

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    1. Thankyou Theanne. People are so kind here. Very willing to help you when you have a problem.

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  8. Congratulations - the cake looks very tempting. Fingers crossed for the Gumbet job.

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    1. Thanks Annie. I wish they would use fresh cream in the cakes here, but I suppose they wouldn't last long in the hot weather. I love the cake itself, and the fruit, and that brown syrup around the side was coffee flavour..quite delicious.

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  9. Congratulations on your anniversary and I'm glad you managed to celebrate it, even if the day has its hiccups. That cake looks delicious.

    I'm appalled that Mr A's boss can behave like that with apparent impunity. It's so unfair on you both and I really hope and pray that some better work will turn up for Mr A.

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    1. Thanks Perpetua. This thing about not being paid happens a great deal here to many seasonal workers. I wanted to go over to Kusadasi myself and squeeze the money out of the man, but of course I can't interfere. It would damage Mr A's pride and we still wouldn't get the money. He says he will deal with it in his own way (from past experience that means it will be forgotten)

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  10. Phew it all sounds a bit fraught but I'm glad you were able to spend most of the day together! congratulations on another anniversary!

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  11. Hope the Anniversary was a Happy one even though you didn't manage to celebrate in the way you wanted. The cake was delicious.
    All that work without being paid is terrible. You are so patient, both of you and I really hope Mr A will get the money he deserves very soon.
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

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    1. Thankyou Maggie. I hope so too x

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  12. Oops! Happy belated anniversary :-)

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