Sunday, 13 October 2013


Today is Sunday.  I leave for home early on Tuesday morning.  I won't be seeing Stella and the boys today because they are busy, so I only have tomorrow.  Stella is working. She will have other children with her all day as she is a childminder.  Billy will be at school. I will be there all day but it will be hectic. Today will be spent with my brother and sister-in-law, their daughters and partners.  It's a wet and miserable day so the company will cheer me up.

At this time during my trips I start to feel emotional.  I miss my son, with whom I have had no contact for 15 years, and I always hope each trip that this will be the one where we can be reunited.  I try to make it happen, but it never does. It's 12 years since he and Stella had contact, and although she doesn't admit it, it must hurt her too. 

I also feel that I haven't spent enough time with my daughter and grandsons.  Time moves on far too quickly.  As a result I woke up at 3am this morning, having had a strange, jumbled up dream in which all the people I miss, including my late father, also put in an appearance.

Meanwhile, at home Mr A seems to have the dogs under control, and has been busy tidying up the garden in between regular visits to the village teahouse.

He has also been enjoying the company of the village women:

Dursune (on the left) with the old lady who lives up the hill.  She is in her 80s and I love her because she always calls me çocuk  (meaning child or my age haha!)


  1. Your visit has gone by so quickly, it is no wonder you feel emotional, particularly when it involves the difficulties which exist with your son. I am sorry that this trip has also not included that longed for reunion. The photo of Dursune and friend is brilliant. Mr A wont come to much harm with those 2 looking out for him ! Jx

  2. Whatever time you have with your daughter and grandsons would never be enough...and isn't it always the case that the last available moments are when they are busy in their necessary routines.
    It's the downside of the pleasure of their company....but no easier to bear for all that.

    Thinking of you.

  3. Distance within families is very hard. My husband and his mother find the few days at the end of a get together hard and the first few weeks after leaving too. take care x

  4. Hi çocuk.......time sure goes by fast. No wonder you feel like that, I go through it also.
    Sorry about your son....but maybe 'absence will make the heart grow fonder sometime soon.'
    You're lucky they call you çocuk...they call me 'abla'.....and you know what that means. :-(
    Hope your last day will be a very happy one.... E..XXXX

  5. Welcome back Ayak. I know how you feel, but at least you have had some precious time with them, hopefully, before long you will be over to see them again.
    I love the photo of the two tayzeler!!
    Love to you and thinking of you at this timeXXX F.

  6. I am sorry about your son and I see he doesn't get in touch with his sister either.
    Not sure you can do anything. Just keep hoping and praying and inviting him to come round.
    I hope the journey goes/went well.
    I hate Goodbyes.
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

  7. I hope you've had a safe journey home and have returned to WATER.


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