Sunday, 13 April 2014

Friendships

I was thinking the other day about the way in which making new friends has changed over the years.

When I was a child I made friends with children of neighbours, or others I met at school, and some of these have lasted a lifetime.

I made a fair number of friends during my working life too, and some of these I still have contact with.

When I moved to Turkey almost 16 years ago, I knew no-one except for my husband, and we moved around quite a lot so there wasn't much opportunity to make new friends, but I did gain a few  along the way, and even though I don't have much chance to see them these days, we try to keep in touch.

The internet has been a boon for maintaining contact.  I never really enjoyed writing letters, but these days we can chat via Skype or on Facebook, or we can phone or text each other.  It's all so much easier.

Today there is a different kind of friendship that didn't exist before the internet.  Making new friends online.   Blogging has been a wonderful example of this.  I have a great bunch of blogging friends.  People who show an interest in my life and are always there to support me, and the enjoyment of our "chats" via the comment box.

I am amazed at the number of online friends I now have, that I haven't met in person.  Although I have been fortunate enough to meet up with some of them over the past few years.  The nice thing about eventually meeting them face to face, is that all the preliminary "getting to know all about you" stuff has already been done online, so we can just get on with enjoying each others' company.

Last Wednesday, the day of my disastrous visit to the dentist, I met up with one of my more recent online friends, David.  He and his husband had been living in Gumusluk but recently moved to a village near Mumcular.   It's early days of village life for him, but it looks like he is enjoying it immensely.

We first "spoke" on Facebook, on a group page, where we clearly shared the same opinions on certain things, and it progressed from there.  Recently, he asked me to help him with Admin on a group page, which I was happy to do.  We then started our own group and continue the admin together.

We had been planning to meet up for a while, so on Wednesday he kindly agreed to drive over to meet me in Milas.  We spent a very pleasant couple of hours drinking coffee and chatting, before I set off for my dental appointment that didn't happen, and he returned home.

I feel like I've known him for years, and we plan to meet up regularly from now on.

Internet friendships are such an advantage for those like me, who live in areas where there is little opportunity to meet like-minded people.  It helps to get rid of the feeling of isolation.  It's even better when you eventually get to meet these new friends in real life.



20 comments:

  1. I had never guessed, when starting off with a blog, that I would 'meet' so many people whom I can regard as friends....and I never forget all the help you gave me in getting started
    Instructions which I could understand where the stuff online was so much gobbledygook!

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    1. A lot of it is still gobbledygook isn't it Helen? I value your friendship Helen. You have given me tremendous support during difficult times for which I will always be thankful. We never quite managed that one brief opportunity to meet up, but at least we spoke on the phone which was nice xx

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  2. I do so agree with you, Ayak. I haven't actually met any of my blogging friends, although I think Janice and I would agree that we are friends now more through blogging than the years we worked in the same building! But you are quite right - I do feel I know many of you already and it wouldn't feel like I was meeting someone new. Glad you had a good meet up - hope you get together again. And hope we also have the opportunity one day for a face to face chat!
    Axxx

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    1. Yes I hope so too Annie. We keep mentioning a bloggers get together...we really should think seriously about it xx

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  3. Bloggers 'meets' are great - from my one experience of it! Although I haven't yet written a blog myself, I 'facilitated' a tea-party in my home with Perpetua (who is a friend in 'real' life) and Friko and her Beloved, who lives not far away. It was a great afternoon - but too long ago, and I can't think why we haven't repeated it, except that we're all rather busy people (and Perpetua is perpetually in motion between Wales, Scotland and France - except when she's confined to barracks by the medics!) Having read blogs by so many other people, and contacted some by e-mail, I'd love to meet them in person, but being disabled travelling long distances isn't an option these days, sadly! But folk would be most welcome here in Wales.

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    1. Hi Helva. Yes a blogger meet-up would be great, but pretty difficult to organise with people living so far away from each other, some on the other side of the world. And you're right, people are very busy and fitting in dates to suit everyone wouldn't be easy. How lovely that you know Perpetua and I bet your afternoon in her company was very enjoyable x

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  4. Yes...... I know what you mean. I seem to have made a whole new community of cyber friends and feel that they are really important.
    Even better when you actually meet one and get on well.

    I've just been looking at the adorable pups in the last post!

    Sorry to hear that you are still waiting for your dentist. Hope things get fixed soon.
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

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    1. This really is a great way of meeting new friends isn't it Maggie?

      Dentist visit went extremely well this morning. Everything done...yippee!

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  5. Hi Ayak, I agree with you, A meet-up with fellow bloggers is an oportunity to talk, laugh, eat and drink with like minded people. Perhaps if you are ever in England you could let us know, to try to work out if it is possible to meet up. Also i have visited Turkey 7 times in the past 3 years, also visiting friends and their family in Central Anatolia. I absolutely love Cappadocia and plan to visit for several weeks to spend more time there to see all that there is to see and find the right place to stay. Last time i was there i looked at MELEKLER EVI ( House of Angels) Cappadocia, but alas it was Very expensive especially for a few weeks stay!
    Love and Blessings to you and Mr A. Glad to see him back home, as this really does make you happy, and you can stop worrying about how he was doing out there>
    ( Love your recent comments on Dannis blog about "KEEP REAL" i too have commented although i do not know if it will help. I just want her to have some peace in her life. Her Heart is breaking.)
    Kind regards JAN X

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    1. Hi Jan. Thankyou so much for your comment. Yes it would be nice to meet up some time. I'll bear it in mind for my next trip.

      My heart also breaks for Danni. She is a lovely girl and has so much pressure on her from her family...negative pressure, rather than considering what is right for her.

      In case anyone would like to read Danni's story, I have mentioned her blog before, but here is the link: http://livingtheturkishdream.wordpress.com/2014/04/13/being-real/

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  6. I wouldn't have met you without our blogs. We could have lived so close without ever knowing of each other's existence.

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    1. True BtoB and that would have been a real shame. And it's about time we caught up again..it's been ages xx

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  7. Hello Ayak, I recently met Janice in person after reading her blog for quite a while. She mentioned you so I thought I would visit. It's been lovely reading your posts.

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    1. Hi Maria, and welcome to my blog. Janice is lovely,and I too hope I'll get the chance to meet her one day. Glad you have enjoyed my posts xx

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    2. So glad you two have now "met" Jx

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    3. Me too Janice. Thankyou xx

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  8. Friendships through blogging have become incredibly important to me. I love to check out what you're up to Ayak, and really feel for you and Mr A with the difficulties you face...but also I love sharing the happiness that you have too. Annie and I certainly know more about each other now that we ever did when we worked on the 6th and 8th floor of the same Huddersfield building for years and years. I really value these friendships, and know that it was often these friendships that kept me going when I was ill last year ( 18 months since surgery now ! ).
    It would be wonderful to organise some sort of get together. Where, when, how , who ????? Would England be easiest ? Could people get to Barcelona as Annie and I have suggested a few times ? What do we all think ?
    It is good that you have had another face to face meeting with a blogger... I did last week, when I met Maria from Brisbane, on her UK trip. It was, as you say, like meeting up with an old friend. Jx

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    1. And now, as you can see, Maria has popped in here, thanks to you Janice. Blogging friends really do keep us going through difficult times don't they...and hasn't that 18 months gone quickly...you seem to have done so much since then.

      I have no idea where would be easiest for a bloggers get together. We are all so dotted about. Turkey would be easiest for Annie (BtoB) and me of course, and Erica who visits here most years, but I guess anywhere in Europe...Spain or France perhaps? It will be interesting to get others' feedback.

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  9. I'm so glad you've made and now met in person another new friend, Ayak. You're absolutely right about the way that our blogs enable us to get to know each other, so that when we actually meet face to face all the preliminaries are already done and dusted. I've not met 3 very different bloggers on separate occasions and each meeting was enormous enjoyable. Yes, a bloggers' get-together would be wonderful. :-)

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    1. It would be wonderful for some of our little blogging community to meet up wouldn't it? It would take some organising though. I know Annie and Janice have been talking about it for some time, so maybe they will come up with some ideas x

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