....because we feel trapped.
I love our dogs, and I enjoy the fact that we can help so many other dogs and cats in our area, but occasionally I have a desperate need to get away from it all.
Those of you also involved in animal rescue and welfare I think will understand what I mean. Even having one or two dogs can restrict you. You can't just pack a bag and set off somewhere on a whim. You need to put your pets in kennels or find someone to look after them. Easy with one or two dogs, but 12 is a different kettle of fish entirely. Who in their right mind would want to look after this many dogs, not to mention the cats, and keeping an eye on the dogs in the village and sanayi?
In 18 years, Kaya and I have never had a holiday together. We've never even been away for one night together. If I want to go to England to see my family, I have to choose a time when he is not working so that he can be here to look after the animals. Likewise, on occasions when he has been working away, I have to be here.
I haven't seen my daughter and grandsons since February. I usually try to visit on Billy and Jimi's birthdays, 6 days apart in April, but because Kaya started work in March this year it wasn't possible. My daughter's birthday is in September, and I have missed an awful lot of them because it's a busy time in tourism. That makes me very sad. I would love to be with her on her birthday.
Of course I book my flights way in advance to get the best prices, but had I known that Kaya would be out of work before the end of the season, I could have gone to the UK sooner than 4th November. Nevertheless as the day approaches I am very excited and so looking forward to being there.
I tell myself at this point in time that it will be such a relief to have some time away from barking dogs and endless feeding of same, but I know I'll probably miss them. It's a real dilemma. If I could win the lottery (difficult as I never buy a ticket!) I could buy a huge piece of land for the dogs and employ someone to care for them if I just fancied escaping for a few days. Perhaps a private jet to pop over to England?
Kaya tells me that he is done with tourism. He's not getting any younger and it really is a young man's game. The long hours are exhausting and take their toll. I'm hoping that he can find something locally which will make life a lot easier for both of us. If that happens then I fully intend to go to the UK for my family's birthdays next year. Better still, I'd like them to come and stay with us. We'll just have to wait and see.
This post is beginning to sound like one big whinge, but it's not really because I don't regret the decisions I made. Caring for these animals is a commitment which will last as long as I live.
But an escape now and then would be nice wouldn't it?